Race Schedule and Results

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Ahhh


I'm having one of those days.  Sometimes I just need to remind myself to just breath.  I feel like I want to climb the tallest mountain (which would inevitably kill me at this stage in my life, but that's not the point here) and scream "ahhhhhhh".  I keep trying to remind myself that in this crazy journey called life, we must not forget that it's more important to live your life the way you want and not let others force you into a life you aren't happy with. That's risky, but with risk comes reward. There will always be pointless drama, things that make you shake your head and wonder "who did I piss off to deserve this", but in the end, there are people who care deeply about you, your passions, your beliefs, and they will make the biggest impact on your life.  They will stand behind you, encourage you and lead you on a forward path that will forever change your life.  You have to believe in yourself!
There are days when I feel like lately we're getting swept up in the journey that is our life, sometimes forgetting to blink along the way.  Sometimes we get so caught up in the pointless crap that we for get that we get one life to live and that this too shall pass, making us better, stronger and happier.  And we don't want to look back and miss something, but at the same time, we know we have no control over how fast time flies.  In the end, no matter what struggles and challenges we face, we will come out stronger, more loved, and ultimately happier people.
 After all, we have each other.  And really, that's the greatest gift that we have been given.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Life is precious


I got the call this morning that I was waiting for - a weird call to say "waiting for".  It was the call that my grandma (we called her "Amma") had passed away.  We knew that it was coming - all the signs were there, but we all waited patiently by the phones for the call when the nurses said that she had indeed left to go meet my grandpa.

She had Alzheimer's, in fact, they both did.  What a horrible disease to witness, especially when two people who love each other so deeply both suffer from it.  When my grandfather passed away in August, my grandmother was so incredibly confused.  How do you explain that her husband, who many days she didn't know, was no long alive?  She constantly asked when he was coming home, saying that she needed to get dinner going for him (she hadn't cooked in years).  Shortly after his death, she told us that she was going to be late and that she needed to go meet him, my aunt Cathy (who passed away in 1994) and her parents.  They were having her over for dinner.  Wow...

For the last 6 months, Amma has struggled with sadness and not being able to express what made her sad.  She cried a lot.  She had a series of mini strokes. She stopped eating.  She stopped drinking.  In all honesty, she stopped living.  I firmly believe that she died somewhat of a broken heart.  She and my grandfather were married 66 years.

I wish my Abigail had been able to meet one of her great grandparents.  That's something that's weighing heavy on my heart today.   When she found out I was pregnant, Amma told everyone that "we are having a baby".  I think she would have loved Abby so many - she always said that Tom and I would make amazingly adorable babies (she had a love for how handsome Tom was!!!) I'm fairly positive she didn't know who I was at the time, or the relationship that my child would have to her, but she had such a sparkle for those few minutes when it registered that there would be a new life coming into the world. 

I'm at peace knowing that Amma's with Ampa again.  She's been reunited with her daughter and her parents.  And they all will wait around patiently until we too can meet again.  Love you Amma - I'll always be your Doogloofer #2.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

One lucky girl...

First, today's my birthday.  I don't usually make a big deal about my birthday, but it's funny that I've thought a lot about what a "birthday" really means, especially knowing that my little girl will have her birthday in June.  It makes me smile... I think it means a little more to me this year (maybe because my hormones are all wacky and I think about things too much, but whatever).  My hubby spoiled me rotten, especially when I opened this gem up. 
I've been eying it for a while now and he totally surprised me with it.  :) He also bought the baby some stuff which totally made me smile! And he took me to lunch for Chipotle, because I've totally been craving guacamole which I NEVER ate before I was pregnant.  I'm full and happy... what more can a pregnant lady want for her birthday???

So this past weekend I went to Ohio to visit the family.  Tom hasn't been back since he left in March and I haven't been back since my short trip in September.  I knew that the three days were going to fly by, as we had a lot planned, but I was excited.

We landed late Thursday night to a ground filled with white stuff.  Ugh... Ohio winters.  I'm not a huge fan.  It was pretty though, especially knowing that we could enjoy it for a few days and then be back to 60 degree temps. ;)  but holy crap my blood has thinned.  The frigid temps did me in - Friday I think the high was like 14 with a wind chill warning most of the day.  I think the warmest that it got the whole time we were there was in the mid 30's.


Friday, my sister came over (who looks freaking amazing by the way... she's a different person!) and we all trekked up to Noodles and Company.  A trip to Ohio wouldn't be complete without this bowl of amazingness. 
Yum!  From there we went to the new casino for a little penny slot action. The casino God's must have been mad at me as I couldn't win anything.  That got frustrating quickly.  Tom made out the best, putting $20 in the machines and walking out with over $70!  At least one of the 5 of us won.  That night we went to my sister's for pizza and for a little love with this guy... I would have puppy-napped him but I'm sure they would have missed him.
(Don't mind the duffus face... that's normal for me.)

Saturday I knew that my mom was hosting a little open house for Tom and I.  There are so many friends that I always want to see when I hit up Ohio and there just isn't enough time so she said that she would invite some people over from 2-5 and we could just say hi, they could check out the growing bump, etc.  People could come and go as they please.  It was a great plan.  She had sent out an invite a few weeks ago and sent me a copy.  It was cute and I was excited that most everyone could make it. :)  Saturday morning we were super lazy and I was downstairs talking to Tom as he was on the treadmill.  My dad yelled down that my sister was here.  I thought "okay, that's good".  I knew she was coming by for the day so I didn't think anything of it.  About a minute later, my dad came rushing down and said "I told you your sister was here".  Um... yeah, I get it.  I guess I didn't think it was a big deal.  I looked at Tom like I was confused and said that I better head upstairs and start getting ready for the get together.  I walked to the kitchen and my sister was standing there, with my mom, and a full out shower arrangement!  They had planned a surprise baby shower for me and all of my friends.  I totally lost it... like sobbing uncontrollably.  I'm not one for surprises usually (it might have something to do with me not being able to keep a secret), but I had no clue.  I guess my mom had actually sent out a different invite than what she showed me.  It was still going to be an open house, but they were all coming for our sweet little girl.  I literally cried for the next hour, getting ready.  I was shocked.

My friends started coming at 2 and I wish I had been better about getting pictures.  I know my sister did so hopefully I will get them from her soon.  We ended up having around 30 people there (hubbies and kids were invited too).  It was funny to see people's reaction to my bump as I haven't been posting pictures of it and all of these people knew that I was kind of anti-having-kids for much of my marriage thus far (getting pregnant was planned though... we had a change of heart this past summer about wanting a family). I had people there that I grew up with, friends that I've made through volunteering, blogging friends, triathlon friends, old neighbors, family.  It was awesome.  And everyone was so stinking generous... my little girl will never need to worry about not having clothes, that's for sure.  Everyone says it's too fun to buy baby girl clothes and I'll have to agree.   We got a few things from our registry which was awesome too... we're on our way to getting more prepared for this little one.  I literally had a permanent smile on my face the rest of the weekend.

One funny side story... I haven't told a ton of people our daughter's name.  We've had it chosen for a while and I was going to keep it a secret, but yeah, that didn't happen.  It wasn't that I wasn't telling people, I just hadn't really told a lot of people.  I knew that no one coming to the party had been told.  My mom put the cake on the table for the party and it was this:
I loved that this was kind of the way that my friends would find out her name.  So yes, our little girl's name will be Abigail and yes, we'll call her Abby. :)  Here are a few other pictures from the day before everyone got there.
Sunday we visited with Tom's mom and step dad, then left and caught up with his dad and step mom. It was a busy day.  Sunday night came too fast, as it was the last night with my family, but we just hung out watching the Superbowl, still in awe of every one's generosity from the weekend.

I can't thank my mom and sister enough for doing this for me.  They have both been so amazingly excited to meet Abigail and they pulled off a surprise that I never thought was possible.  I'm sure it's a little surreal to see their daughter/sister sporting a baby bump and I hope that they both know how incredibly blown away I was by what they did for us.  And my friends... it was great to see all of them and their little kiddos and I can't thank them enough for the thoughtful gifts that they bought for Abby.  She might have 4 more months to go before she blesses this world with her presence, but she's incredibly loved already!  That's a pretty cool feeling.

Finally, just because I haven't posted any bump pictures, I'll post one.  I've heard everything from "how many are in there" to "you are way bigger than I thought you would be" to "your doctors must be so happy with your weight gain because you look amazing".  I'm big.  I feel it.  But I'm happy.  This little girl is moving a shaking like crazy and I know that she's growing big and strong so that's all that matters.  This picture was taken today... 23 weeks.  I'm up 14 pounds total. 


 
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