I got the call this morning that I was waiting for - a weird call to say "waiting for". It was the call that my grandma (we called her "Amma") had passed away. We knew that it was coming - all the signs were there, but we all waited patiently by the phones for the call when the nurses said that she had indeed left to go meet my grandpa.
She had Alzheimer's, in fact, they both did. What a horrible disease to witness, especially when two people who love each other so deeply both suffer from it. When my grandfather passed away in August, my grandmother was so incredibly confused. How do you explain that her husband, who many days she didn't know, was no long alive? She constantly asked when he was coming home, saying that she needed to get dinner going for him (she hadn't cooked in years). Shortly after his death, she told us that she was going to be late and that she needed to go meet him, my aunt Cathy (who passed away in 1994) and her parents. They were having her over for dinner. Wow...
For the last 6 months, Amma has struggled with sadness and not being able to express what made her sad. She cried a lot. She had a series of mini strokes. She stopped eating. She stopped drinking. In all honesty, she stopped living. I firmly believe that she died somewhat of a broken heart. She and my grandfather were married 66 years.
I wish my Abigail had been able to meet one of her great grandparents. That's something that's weighing heavy on my heart today. When she found out I was pregnant, Amma told everyone that "we are having a baby". I think she would have loved Abby so many - she always said that Tom and I would make amazingly adorable babies (she had a love for how handsome Tom was!!!) I'm fairly positive she didn't know who I was at the time, or the relationship that my child would have to her, but she had such a sparkle for those few minutes when it registered that there would be a new life coming into the world.
I'm at peace knowing that Amma's with Ampa again. She's been reunited with her daughter and her parents. And they all will wait around patiently until we too can meet again. Love you Amma - I'll always be your Doogloofer #2.
