The unexpected guest

** This week marks the 8th "anniversary" of Tom's diagnosis with Type 1 Diabetes.  I wrote a little letter to our unexpected guest.**

Dear Type 1 Diabetes, 

Some days I just want to tell you to “Suck It”. 

You entered our lives eight years ago.  We don’t know why… we didn’t invite you.  Heck, you were a stranger to us at the time and I was always taught to never let strangers into my house.  I remember Tom saying he couldn’t see things, and that he was going to the bathroom all day long, but you didn’t even cross my mind.  At the Urgent Care, they told us that his blood sugar was 300, but that was as high as their meter went.  And blood sugar, what’s that?  At the ER, they were even more vague, although the blood sugar thing was even higher.  They hooked him up with IV’s, ran some tests and gave us some papers telling us that your cousin was visiting because of Tom's age… Type 2 diabetes.

I went home and cried, but only after stopping for lunch and not knowing what to order – how could you control us in just the first few minutes of us knowing you?

The next day we went to a different hospital, saw a family friend who was an endocrinologist, and he was the one that introduced us and said that we’d be living with you forever.

You were the unexpected guest we never invited and couldn’t send home.

I was mad.  Tom was mad.  We were both scared.  We weren’t even married, yet our happy household went from three (Buddy was around then) to four.  We didn’t have room for you. But we had no choice.

Since you’d be staying with us forever, I wanted to do a background check on you.  What were you going to take from us?  What were you going to ask of us?  How would you living with us change our lives? Commonly you live with young kids (you are cruel I tell you).  Sometimes you live with grownups.  Sometimes you choose your new home when you have already visited people that live there.  In our case, it was a totally random visit.

Thanks.

There were many months where I wanted you to pack up and leave.  You might have been primarily hanging out with Tom, but you were affecting all of us.  You caused Tom to get hooked on drugs that calmed you down.  You ruined many workouts.  You gave us many sleepless nights.  You left us wondering, “why did you choose us to come visit?”.

But you know what, now that you have been with us eight years, you aren’t that bad. 

Yes, there are still days when I wish you would leave and think that you have overstayed your welcome.  Those three a.m. wake-ups to Tom’s continuous glucose meter beeping, telling me that his blood sugar levels are plummeting as I look at him drenched in sweat are no fun – it’s like you are partying when we want to sleep.  When we are out on a run and he starts arguing with me for no reason, telling me he wants to give up, only to find that he’s low… or high…  That’s your fault too.  I find test strips in the weirdest places (hello… Tom doesn’t even test his blood in my closet), glucose tabs in every pocket of my purse.  Our life has definitely changed because of you.

But in good ways too.  You have helped Tom see that he has a voice and that people want to listen to it.  He has learned not to hide you, but to introduce you to others so that they get to see what it’s like to live with you. You have introduced both of us to some amazing people of all ages that are living with you as well.  We all share the fact that you were invited into any of our lives, but we are all too welcoming and will take care of you forever.  You were the biggest reference used to help him get on Team Type 1, and he’s gone from an athlete, to a director and now a manager within the organization. You have encouraged Tom to run across the United States with the Team Type 1 running team, bike across it twice with the Team Type 1 Elite team (setting the world record which still stands), toe the line of 5 Ironman distance races, P.R. at every distance of every race he’s entered since having you in his life, and continue to strive for excellence.  You’ve taught him to not settle, but also that you are a guest and that he’s in control.

And you’ve taught me a lot to.  Patience is the first thing that comes to mind.  Yeah, you have definitely taught me a lot about that.  And unconditional love.  When you moved in, I could have moved out. But I think you helped convince Tom to propose to me a month after you moved in and that I was worth keeping around, so thank you.  I actually like company and I wanted to work to make sure that you weren’t too much of a burden on the one person I loved more than life itself.  You have taught me that even if I don’t always like you, and I want to tell you to leave us alone, that you aren’t going away.  You can be tamed.  We set the boundaries for our guests. 

I am not at the point where I will say that I’m glad you’re here, but I will say, you aren’t nearly as bad as I thought you’d be.

With (dare I say it?) love,

Your host mom

Ignorance drives me nuts!

*** EDITED BELOW BY AUTHOR***

As the wife of a type 1 diabetic, I am continually amazed by the ignorance and stupidity of people. My husband was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at the age of 28. No, he's not over weight. No, he's not unhealthy. Those are the first two things that people assume when they hear that he's a diabetic. See, there's 2 kinds of diabetes - the unhealthy kind and the unlucky kind. My husband has the unlucky kind. I'll explain...

Type 1 diabetics are insulin dependant. Many people used to think that only young kids get it (it's sometimes called Juvenile Diabetes), but the trend is changing that anyone can get it at any time. At some point in their life, their pancreas dies and they can no longer deliver sugar to organs (the role of insulin). Many times there is nothing in particular that brings the disease on - much like in the case with Tom. He was a football player through college, had already run a handful of marathons, was actively involved in triathlons, had a single digit body fat % and was in phenomenal physical health when he was diagnosed. They don't know what brought it on, but he's going to live with it for the rest of his life. He gives himself 5 or so shots a day, pricks his finger 10 or so times a day and LIVES with the disease. Since he didn't do anything to bring it on and can't change the diagnosis, he has the unlucky kind.

Type 2 diabetics generally have a hard time producing insulin, although their pancreas isn't dead. Many times the disease is brought on by an inactive lifestyle, a generally unhealthy weight, poor eating habits, etc. By changing their diets, incorporating exercise and possibly taking a pill by mouth once a day, they have the chance to reverse their diagnosis and overcome the disease. This is what we call the unhealthy kind of diabetic, although they CAN change the diagnosis.

So with that being said... why can't people just try to think before they speak. We once had someone said "Until I met Tom, I never felt sorry for diabetics because I figured they brought the disease on themselves". Tom is working on a fundraising project which involves bracelets that say "Running On Insulin" (that happens to be Tom's motto, his website and a team that he's forming). He was on the phone with the company today that's making the bracelets and was deciding what size he should order for the 1000 bracelets that he'll be getting. He knew that he'd like to have some for everyone. The lady from the company said "well since they are for diabetics, you should probably get all of them in size large."

Really lady? That's what you think, that all diabetics are fat? Well this guy has diabetes:

So do these guys: This whole team has diabetes, oh and they have won RAAM twice against non-diabetic riders (and as an added bonus, my hubby is a member of this team, although the Team Type 1 Triathlon team).And this is my favorites Type 1 Diabetic:

Maybe she needs a bracelet ... and a good smack upside the head!

***Edit added 7/26 - I've had a few people tell me that I'm wrong in what I wrote about Type 2 diabetics and I want to clear some things up. First, I never said that EVERY overweight person has type 2 or that EVERY type 2 is overweight. I said that generally that's the trend. I stand by that, even after learning that 20% of Type 2's are of normal weight. I guess there's a discrepency as to when "generally" can be used - 80% seems to be a fair number, but maybe I'm wrong. I also mispoke when I wrote that type 2 diabetics CAN reverse their diagnosis. There is a number of them that can't because they fall into that category of being healthy with a genetic makeup for Type 2, older people, etc. So I just wanted to clear that up. I wasn't 100% wrong in my statements that I made here and quite frankly learned something as well which I will always admit. I have now been educated on something I made an assumption on and apologize.