And then it fell apart

Or maybe I fell apart!

T2 was fine. I was happy to be off my bike and quickly made my way through changing and hitting the potties once more before the run.

The first mile or so of the run I felt fine. Kind of in a fog quite honestly. I saw my friend Edie and her brand new son cheering me on right outside of transition and I think that carried me for a little while. But then my stomach flipped. It hadn't felt "right" on the bike, but didn't really bother me. With every step of the run, it flipped over once more. I saw Tom at mile 3 and faked a smile, told him about my penalty on the bike (which made him laugh) and continued on my way. I shuffled. That's about all I could muster. I knew it would be a long day.

I saw my mom and dad at mile 5. I told them I wasn't feeling great, but that I'd be fine. I knew that it would worry my mom to tell her how I really felt. Miles 6, 7 and 8 were very hard - emotionally and physically. I wanted to be running, but my stomach was horrible. I tried Tums, I tried making myself sick, I tried anything I could at the aid stations. I was running through St. Andrews park and it was beautiful. The sun was setting. I was running in an Ironman. I wanted to feel good. My legs felt fine. Why couldn't I go? This picture makes it look like I was having fun.When I saw my parents again around mile 9, I told them that I knew I'd be walking soon. My stomach just couldn't take the jostling of the run. About the same time I saw Tom and that's when I lost it.

FULL.OUT.TEARS

I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to walk. I wanted to feel as good as he look. It just wasn't happening. He hugged me, told me to do a run/walk, told me he loved me and that he believed in me. I didn't believe in me at this point. I shuffled along to the half way point. I saw mile 14. 12.2 miles left. I can do this.

But I was so nauseous. I started walking around mile 15. I just figured I would walk the rest of the race. It's a humbling thing to have to walk a race that you know you are fit enough to run, simply because of your upset stomach. It's the only way that my stomach was alright. No great, but alright. I saw my mom around mile 18 and told her that I was walking and would like her to walk miles 20-25 with me (just to give me company). It was totally dark at this point and my legs were starting to hurt from walking. At mile 17, I decided that I needed to figure out if it felt worse to shuffle slowly or walk. I was back in the park and at this point couldn't see anything. I befriended a guy who was in the same boat as me. He was sick, walking, in pain. He wanted to finish, but knew that the road was still a long one. We would point out things - lights, cars, trees, and say "let's run to that spot". Then we'd walk a little. We repeated this until we were out of the park. Michael (my new Ironman friend) asked if I do this alone. I told him that Tom had already finished and on cue, as if I had planned it, Tom bikes up. Seeing him totally lifted my spirits!

After Michael figuring out that my hubby was a badass, we talked about me walking with my mom. I asked Michael what his goal was and he said that he would continue our shuffle/walk plan. He gave me company. I thanked my mom when I saw her and just told her to meet me at the finish.

My stomach started to feel better in the last 6 miles. I don't know if it was the walking or what. Michael and I talked about everything... it took my mind off things. Our walk breaks became longer and although I probably could have shuffled in, I stuck with him. I didn't care about my time and I knew that I would finish. I was so elated that I didn't feel like I wanted to hurl.

At mile 25 I wanted to run in. I was **this** close to the finish and I knew that my adrenaline would get me there. Michael stopped to use the potty and I said my goodbye to him. I was off to become an Ironman again. The last mile was a blur. The crowd was amazing. As I rounded the corner to the finish, I saw that I had the shoot to myself. And let me tell you ...

IT WAS AMAZING!

So much different that last year, but just as cool! I took it all in, repeated to myself "you must not trip, you must not trip". I smiled as they said "Colleen Kingery, you are an Ironman". I think the picture says it all.This wasn't the race that I thought it was going to be, or even hoped it would be. I had images of myself PRing, feeling great, smiling the whole way. The Ironman Gods definitely tested me. They humbled me a little. They toughened me up a bit. I learned a lot about pushing myself past the point of comfort, I learned what the draft box is, I learned that I don't give up when the going gets tough. That's all part of the Ironman journey. And unless you've done an Ironman, you can't fully appreciate it. It's so much more than a really long day of swimming, biking and running. It's a journey. You feel so alone at times and so part of a group of amazingly crazy people just like you. And there's no way to describe the feeling you get when you hear that you're an Ironman. The first time, the second - it doesn't get old!

Tom and I didn't sign up for next year's race. I'm happy. I need a change. I'm looking forward to shorter racing and training, to moving my business forward, to spending more time with family and friends, to strengthening my already amazing marriage, to having time for "me". I need this.

Thank you to everyone for your continued support. I have the world's best husband, who happens to be my training partner and best friend. Brady, you never cease to amaze me (he PR'ed by 10+ minutes this year) and I appreciate you pushing me, supporting me and loving me, tears and all! I have great parents who have yet to miss an important race and I thank them so much for their continued support as their daughter takes on these crazy challenges. I thank my sister and brother-in-law for the constant pep talks!!! I have an extended family that many could only dream of. I have the most amazing friends - your patience and support means so much to me and I'm so happy that I finally get to see you guys again! And to my blogger friends... I appreciate the friendships that I have with complete strangers! And to athlete #610 - thanks for getting me through those last 6 miles! :) You too are an Ironman now!!!

Part II

T1 was kind of a cluster if you ask me. Last year, you left the beach after getting stripped, ran through a little opening in a building, picked up your special needs bag and went 5 feet to a changing tent. This year things were totally different - for the worse if you ask me! You still ran through the building, got your bags, but now had to run to a building on the other side of transition to go into an overcrowded smelly tent to change. I actually grabbed my transition bag and stood in line to get into the tent. It wasn't right! T1 was a chaotic mess as usual. God bless the women who volunteer in the change tent. They see A LOT of women parts - granted Ironman women tend to be in decent shape, but ew... it's still a lot of women. :) The carpet of the building was wet and sandy. I found a spot, emptied my bag, had a great volunteer, quickly changed (although pulling bike shorts up when your wet is not fun or quick and yes, I changed shorts because my whoha just can't handle tri shorts for 112 miles) and was on my way. I exited the tent right next to my bike, but again, had to run all the way to the other side of transition, only to turn around and come all the way back and get my bike. In bike shoes. T1 took me 8:49.


I got on my bike and it was a gorgeous day. I had arm warmers on, but didn't need them which was a nice thing. It was sunny as could be and the first 7 miles or so just flew by (I had a tailwind which helped). We made our first turn around mile 8 and I started thinking "this is going to be a long day". I got settled in and just rode. There were bike everywhere and clumps of people on each other's wheels. I wondered if drafting would be as prevalent this year as last year. I turned at mile 20ish and got smacked with what would be my biggest enemy for the next 30 miles - a straight headwind. It sucked! And for the record, Ironman Florida might be flat, but this 30 mile stretch is a lot of false flats. It was tough and sucked your energy out. I stopped at mile 35ish to use the facilities and had to wait on line. Yup... the joy of being a woman that day. :( I had not other choice! Special needs came around mile 48. I always laugh at Special Needs. I stopped, refilled my bento and was on my way. Others lay in the grass, have a picnic, etc. I guess they realize that it's a long day and they might as well enjoy it. To each is own! I'm still fighting the headwind at this point and know that the turn is coming soon. I can't wait.


Then it happens...


I make the turn about mile 50 and I'm coasting along on a 4 lane road. All lanes are open to the public and there are quite a few cars. People have spread out a little, but I still see clumps of bikers. I've worked so hard to keep my 7 meters all day because the motorcycles and race officials are EVERYWHERE. I get up close to a man that I want to pass and know that I'll have to go out into the lane to pass him. I get right by his wheels and hear a car. Not wanting to kill myself as I pass him, I drop back. He slows to which means that I'm in the draft box too long. Of course a race official saw the whole thing and had no pity for me. "Number 2307 - that's a red violation. Serve your 4 minute penalty at the next penalty tent." AHHHHHH! I was so pissed! Especially since I was trying so hard to not draft. I silently cursed Ricardo who was the man in front of me who had slowed as I dropped back, but of course just smiled as I passed him a few minutes later. All I could think about was the damn penalty. And I wondered how far the next penalty tent was. I knew there had been one around mile 20. Surely another was coming up. I kept my eyes peeled. I see the 60 mile sign, the 70 mile sign, the 80 mile sign. Now I'm worried that I missed it and I'll be disqualified or something. And I've totally embraced the fact that I'll sit for 4 minutes once I find the tent. Finally around mile 90 I see it. I stop. I've never gotten a penalty so I didn't know the routine. There were 3 other girls in the tent, all bitching about the same thing as me - how come the guys get away with it and when we don't think that we are drafting, we get dinged! They hand me a stopwatch which I have to hold for 4 minutes. They mark all my numbers with "X", and laugh about how fresh we'll feel on the run because of our break. Not funny... The head lady at the tent had a clipboard and said that she's never seen so many drafting penalties in her life. She was on page 11 and there were 8 people on each page. She was only 1 of 3 penalty boxes. My 4 minutes was up soon enough and I hopped back on my bike, grumbling to myself the whole time. I only had about 22 miles left - I wasn't going to let it ruin my day.
The last miles went fast - the tailwind helped... and maybe the 4 minutes off my bike! It's funny how you try to occupy your time on the bike too - for me, it was trying to convert the kilometer markers to miles. Sure I could have just looked at my computer, but that's not nearly as fun right? :) I was excited to get back to transition though and start my run. I knew that I would have a PR in the bike, even with the penalty which made me happy. I haven't been feeling very confident on the bike lately and well... let's face it, I hate riding in the wind so to survive that, I was pleased. The crowds really bring you in the last few miles. It's almost surreal. Another successful leg - besides the penalty. Total bike time was 6:33:29 - 17.1mph. That was fine with me. (I have to note that Tom had an awesome day on the bike. He finished in 5:22 something which was 20.8mph. He was really happy with that and said that he felt the wind a lot too! He also thought it was so cool that I got a penalty - So cool honey, let me tell you! He's weird!)

Alright... here ya go

I could write one big post, but that would take FOREVER! So, I'll split it for you, include some pictures, and keep you coming back for more! HA!

So we left for PCB on Tuesday. We knew that we were going to drive the whole trip in one day because we were super excited to get to the beach. It's a long drive - took us 14 + hours. BLAH! Wednesday we checked in at the race -the expo is always fun and probably not nearly as crazy as the following days. After mom and dad made their sign, we took some pictures, I bought a shirt, etc., went grocery shopping and then plopped ourselves on the beach. It was heavenly. We went for a short run that day and my legs felt encased in cement. I wasn't nervous at all which I thought was bizarre and should have been foreshadowing for the days ahead, but whatever. The view and location for this Ironman is the best!!!

Thursday we went to the Gatorade swim. They let you swim the course which I like to do because of the salt water and well, because I'll admit that I hadn't swam in the open water since September. Yikes! The water was cool, clear and REALLY salty! :) I forget how much that stuff burns if you swallow it or it goes in your nose! My goggles were leaking which was something new. I panicked. Luckily the day before I noticed that the expo was selling the ones I use so I went and bought new ones and told Tom that I needed to come back on Friday and test them. #1 rule with the Ironman is don't use something new for race day. Since I had only tried my new wetsuit on Thursday, I figured swimming with new goggles on Friday would totally make up for that rule! :)

Friday I woke up with a full panic. I don't know if it was because of the swim the day before and the goggle fiasco or what, but that morning I tested the new goggles (which I must say is one of the best things ever... new goggles - no scratches, a good suction). I felt much calmer in the water without the salt water burning my eyeballs so I was happy. How can you not love swimming when the scene looks like this???

We then went to the pancake breakfast (gotta love free pancakes). We were sitting outside and I went up to a girl to ask about her bike (she had an Orbea Ora too, but it had a great paint job). As we were talking, she said "do you have a blog?" Come to find out that she reads my blog!!! So Jen, if you are reading this, it was great to meet you and I hope you had a fabulous first Ironman experience!

We checked our bikes and bags on Friday afternoon, had an early dinner and then hit the bed around 8pm. It's amazing how tired you can be the night before the Ironman. Tom was freaking out a little with nerves, I was beyond that point and I think our bodies were just done. I slept like a baby!!!

RACE DAY!!!

The alarm went off at 4:20. It was dark, but you could hear the waves crashing on the beach. My stomach flipped. I cried (it's a morning ritual before a race... I'm a girl, what can I say). Oh, did I mention that I started my period on Friday night - total emotion overdrive! Sorry guys for the TMI, but a girl needs to just bitch about this a minute. I totally think women doing the Ironman on their periods should be given a special award because it sucks. I'm just throwing that out there. We made breakfast, grabbed our sodas and head down to transition. It's like another world down there! Got marked, finished last minute checks of our bikes and gear, found the potties, and then sat and waited. I honestly think this is the worst part of the morning. It's knowing what's ahead and just waiting for the time that you have to walk to the beach. Nerves can get the best of you.

We started getting suited up around 6:15 and made our way to the beach shortly after. The water was definitely a little rougher than last year, but because of daylight savings being a week early, we could at least see everything. Somehow at somepoint on the beach, the nerves just disappear. We said a quick goodbye to my mom and dad, walked to the starting coral, listened to the National Anthem and out of nowhere, the cannon sounded. It comes so fast! Tom kissed me goodbye and we made our way into the washing machine.

If you've never experienced an Ironman swim start, you can't fully appreciate the utter chaos. There are arms, hands, feet, bodies flying everywhere. You look up to sight and all you see are heads - where are the buoys? You can barely put your head in the water and when you do, you worry about your goggles getting hit off or your face getting punched. It's a brawl. The first lap of the swim in Florida you just kind of go with the flow. I felt like I was in a dirty nightclub. People would grab my body and hold on as they swam over me. Their hands would land on my neoprene covered butt and they'd push it down as they tried to complete their strokes. You have to be a confident swimmer to do the Ironman. I may not be fast, but I can hold my own. The water was rough. Lots of waves, even more mouthfuls of salt water! I got out on the first lap in 40 minutes. Right on track. I stopped to tighten my chip (it felt loose) and realized the second lap would be much more rough than the first due to the waves. As we entered the water on the second lap, people were getting knocked down by the waves. I found my groove quickly, but it was a lot of up and down. I couldn't get a good rhythm with breathing because inevitably right as I would breath, a wave would get me. I had a hard time sighting the buoys and timing the waves. The second lap seemed to drag a little. I got out at 1:27:24. I was happy with that. I knew it was rougher than last year, and they didn't let us cut it as short this year (teehee) so I was happy. I got my wetsuit peeled, saw my parents and ran to T1. The madness had just begun!

I want to post a race report

But it's going to have to wait a few days until I can get my head clear! :) Too much going on right now.

The most important news is that I finished the Ironman in 14:14:33. It was a hell of a day - rough swim which I think caused me to get a little seasick, crazy ass transitions that were NOT efficient, windy first half of the bike, learning was the draft zone is first hand, and then a nauseous stomach for the entire run. Oh, did I mention that I started my period the night before? Yeah, the Ironman God's had it out for me. But, like always, I made it through with a smile on my face, a few tears and sweet relief that it's over! :)

And I didn't trip at the finish line! That right there my friends, is success in itself! I have pictures to prove it! :)

More to come in the next few days!

I need a vacation

Good thing I'm leaving on Tuesday for PANAMA CITY BEACH!!!!! :)

I'm so freaking excited. The weather looks awesome (upper 70's and sunny every day, including race day). Things have been a tad stressful around our house - between running a company, Tom being gone 15 of 31 days in October for Team Type 1, training a crap ton and all the other every day necessities (like keeping up with house cleaning - how does my dog have any hair left???). Both of us can't wait to just lay on the beach, walk in the sand, drink beer, oh...

and race an Ironman!

Small detail - but I'm actually really looking forward to it. Of course I'm totally doubting that I've done enough training, but who doesn't go through that a week before a 140.6 mile race. Weirdly enough I'm worried the most about the bike which is usually the thing I'm most comfortable with. We didn't do a ton of long rides - a 100, two 90's, an 80 and two 70's, but I've put a lot of miles in elsewhere. My swimming feels good. I have done three 2.4 mile swims (or thereabouts... depends on how long the pool really is). In any event, they were all 10-12 minutes faster than the same length last year. And my running - who am I kidding - I don't run in the Ironman. It's more of a one-foot-in-front-of-the-other shuffle to the finish line. :) I'd love to go sub 5 hours on the marathon which I should be able to do any day, but you never know how the day is going to turn out. Last year I went 5:04 and actually felt good (I told you it was a shuffle) so we'll see. Again, I have no time goals... just want to hear them say "You are an Ironman" (which I missed hearing last year because I was so overwhelmed with the finish line - I'm sure that'll happen again this year!!!).

I hope to update pictures and stuff throughout the week. Send me good race vibes and I'll be thinking about all of you as I'm sipping cocktails in a bathing suit at this time next week (yes, I know that it's only 1:57 in the afternoon, but I'll probably still be sipping drinks then!)

We're getting closer...

The days are ticking by which is good! We leave a week from yesterday and I absolutely cannot wait to be on the beach of Panama City. If you've never been, it's heaven! Tom's traveling one last weekend, so for the next few days I'm going to start pulling stuff together and just laying it out. You would never in a million years begin to imagine what we bring for a one day race! You really need everything. Luckily there is a Wallyworld right down the street for last minute things and it's always so funny doing grocery shopping - everyone is buying bottled water, bread, PB, bananas, pasta, chicken. It's invaded with shaved leg, fit people, who walk around almost comatose, as a million tasks run through their head (much different than the spring break crowd that I'm sure they are used to!)

Bib numbers were assigned. I'm 2307. Tom's 570.

No goals this year - I had such an awesome time last year racing. I kept a smile on my face the entire time and just kept trying to make myself realize that I was living a dream. It was truly amazing. I'm hoping this year's race is much of the same. I don't care if I go faster. Not one bit. I just want to live in the moment, remember that I'm doing something that so few even attempt, and enjoy the experience because after all, Ironman is an experience.

Oh, and I hope that the turf monster doesn't get my ankle at the finish line this year - I guess that's my only goal! :)

Living for the taper

It's funny how people freak out when it becomes taper time - taper tantrums as I like to call them. You know you are ready, you know that your body is thanking you for the rest, but you FREAK out with a capital F! Full on panic mode in some cases. And yet lately, I feel like I've been living one day at a time, trying to get to my taper. Now that it's here, I'm scared to see how my mind and body will react! :)

We did our last "longer" workouts the last few days and although I totally dragged butt through them (a sure sign that I'm ready for the taper to begin), they went well. We did back to back 10 mile runs on Sunday and Monday and then with very dead legs did 90 on the bike yesterday - in the wind. And I'm talking hold-on-to-my-bike-and-lean-into-the-gusts-so-I-don't-fall-off kind of wind. We did the lat 8 miles inside because it was so windy. And then it happened...

Full on, taper tantrum.

Tom had put a video of IMFL 2008 in the DVD player thinking it would pump me up.I sat on my bike and sobbed.

Freaking scared me shitless!

I guess that's a good thing. If you don't respect the distance of the race, all 140.6 miles of it, you won't finish. I respect it alright. In fact it freaks me out a little. Sure I did the race last year, sure I know what to expect, but it's only 2.5 weeks away.

2.5 weeks people!

There's no turning back (not that I want to and I need to make that perfectly clear).

So in the next 2.5 weeks, as I bring my mileage down, as my muscles recover a little, as I prepare mentally for what lies ahead, let's hope the taper tantrums stay at bay. I may have felt like the time would never come and that I was living for the taper, but sometimes that harder than the race!