Like big time.
I will say, I look at this little girl and I totally melt. She smiled at the dog today. I mean, seriously, how awesome is that?
But I'm going to admit something to y'all. I am eating a huge piece of humble pie right now - heck, the whole pie is in front of me and I am just chowing down with a fork straight out of the pie pan. All of my mom friends used to say "you can't do anything when you have a new born". I would sit there, roll my eyes (hopefully not to your face... if I did that, I apologize) and think "how hard can it really be?" I mean, newborns sleep up to 20 hours a day, right? They can't move around. They don't play with things. What could possibly be so hard? You know what??? It's hard.
Like really hard...
Like much harder than I ever thought...
My life has changed. I used to be free to do whatever I want. I went where I want, when I wanted. I talked on the phone, blogged, emailed my friends. I worked the hours that I wanted to work. I worked out daily (gasp... I can't wait to get back to that because I'm seriously in major need of a good sweat session and am going to the doctor on Thursday in hopes that I get cleared to start up again). I showered and did my hair. My toes were always painted. I wore clothes that I didn't sleep in.
That was my old norm. And I'm learning to let go of that. I have a new norm... a mom norm. This little girl is bringing Tom and I so much joy and happiness. She lights up my life when I'm sad. She's funny in the things she's doing at 5 weeks. She's changing before our eyes and it's fascinating. But I'm on her schedule. I cater to her. I sleep when she lets me. I eat with one hand while the other holds her. I haven't taken a shower longer than 3 minutes since she's been born. I've learned to type with one hand. I have more voice mails than I know what to do with.
Right now I'm Ab's source of food (yes, I'm breast feed exclusively) and although I love it and know that it's the best choice for us at this time, it's hard. I feel like it's all I can do. All day. Every day. She's growing like a weed which is apparent in her need for me all day. And then when I'm done and she seems all sleepy and snugly (awesome by the way), something will startle her and she screams.
Some people have heard her and said "that's such a sweet noise and not a scream at all". But when you hear it on and off all day, it sounds really loud. Shreaking. Like "what-could-possibly-be-that-horrible-in-your-life" bad (yes, I ask her that all the time).
But we're learning. It's a new kind of life. I don't get a ton done throughout the day. Tom is amazing in that he works, cleans, cooks, plays with Charlie, exercises, showers, and supports me. I feel like if I get a shower, it's a good day. I now get the "you don't get anything done throughout the day" theory.
So yeah, my life has changed. And hopefully I'll gain some of my old "normal" back soon. If not, I'll adapt. That's what being a mom is all about.
11 comments:
All of that just means that you're an awesome mom that cares about Abbers more than anything in the world! It's just a new chapter in life, and isn't it awesome? Ok, the no-time-for-yourself kind of sucks, but that's why you have an awesome husband that can give you breaks when you need it. Abbey doesn't know how lucky she is to have great parents like you guys!
It's the new normal. I believe you are not giving yourself enough credit. Keep up the good work mama!!!
Blog updates like this kinda make me chuckle. I read a lot of Mom blogs for some reason. What do I have in common with Moms?? HAHA.
I sorta knew you before you even thought of being a Mom though.
I assume eventually you will settle down into some type of "norm". Hopefully soon.
Take care. :)
All I can say is welcome to motherhood! Your life, choices and schedule will be forever changed and very little will be about you anymore. While it is hard at times, and I mean VERY hard, its simultaneously the most rewarding adventure in life.
And every new mom has been there, the before and the after! No one can ever imagine how hard it is until they are there. But you know what? It really, really does get easier, all the time. And one day, she (and perhaps a sibling, too?) will be in school and you'll realize that it's tons easier. Not only that, but you'll even catch yourself missing the baby stages! It's a crazy ride and you're going to do a great job taking it!
It's hard, it sucks sometimes, but then they'll say something (or make a diaper so dirty), that you have to laugh and kiss their stinky little faces. :) I think you are doing a-maz-ing. And have the right attitude... my attitude with a newborn was more, "Oh what have I done." You... much more positive. ;) Love ya, lady.
It does get easier, even just a few more weeks down the line. Make the swing or the vibrating seat your new best friend. We put the baby in the swing to shower (yes we put him in the bathroom with us in the swing), we put him in the swing while working out on the treadmill/trainer, we put him in the swing while we make dinner. It helps us get things done and he's still being part of our lives. I've learned to work at my computer on the floor while the baby sits in his boppy. Boy, this makes it sound like I don't pay any attention to him. :) Just a few more weeks and she'll be a little less dependent and you'll feel a little less overwhelmed. I'm always here and obviously know what you're going through.
For some reason I didn't see your latest post! Sounds like you are doing awesome so far!! I hear the 6-8 week mark is pretty pivotal - ready to wing it too...I just love hearing your story which better prepares me mentally lol. Take care of yourself!!!
I hope everyone is still adjusting well!! Nine years later I'm still learning about parenting, it's a constant evolution, but an awesome one. A is such a little doll, so happy for you!!!
To: Colleen Kingery, #Ironman #Triathlete
From: Darin Armstrong #TeamLIVESTRONG
Hello Colleen,
Just a quick email to ask if you would be interested in a ‘mutual’ following on twitter that will benefit you. (#FYI I do RT’s ‘ANYTIME’ for all #Triathletes #Cyclists #UltraRunners #Marathoners #FitnessProfessionals who follow me on Twitter and have something important they want mentioned for support…Over 41K folks at your access...) I am currently following you now and am awaiting your follow-back...
All the very best to you & Tom for the rest of 2013 & beyond Colleen. Look forward to hearing from you…
(PS. Colleen, should you follow back, I'll be mentioning you 'including your website' in my #FollowFriday #Shoutouts next Friday...)
Darin
twitter.com/DarinArmstrong
#TeamLIVESTRONG
I know EXACTLY what you mean. Aria is now 7 weeks old and today was the first day trat I feel like we had a successful human day. All we did was go to the grocery store. Hahaah.
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