*Heads up... I'm whiny in this post. Consider yourself warned!*
I just pulled up my monthly training log and it made me sad to see my running number for the month. 32 miles. 7 miles being the longest. :( That little ankle pain really was a ... well... pain. I mean I've only run 8 days this month and two of them were less than 2 mile runs. I had a 15 miler that I skipped. I didn't run a few 10's that I wanted. Honestly, I haven't been doing many transition runs. I know it's early in the season and that someday I'll be wishing that I was only running 40ish mile months, but I just feel so behind. Heck, I have a half marathon in 37 days. I have a half Ironman (*gulp*) in 80 days. Luckily the ankle is fine now... just a stupid weird "my sheets were probably tucked too tight a few nights in a row" thing. Not even a real injury! (even more pathetic that I missed runs because of this, huh?)
I don't think it helps that the hubser is running a marathon in 4 weeks. I'm super proud of him for training through this crappy winter, I feel like he's leaps and bounds ahead of me in terms of running this year - endurance, speed, miles. He should be - he's running 30+ mile weeks. But we always train together and now I feel like going to be holding him back if he wants to run with me and which makes me feel like I'm even further behind.
My pace hasn't gotten much below 8:55's this month - well it has on the short stuff, but anything over 6 miles, I'm coming in right under 9's. Speedy to some, but last April I ran a half marathon at 8:22's comfortably. I really wanted to PR in that half marathon... I just don't see it happening.
I don't know why I'm so hard on myself. I literally got into an argument last night with the hubby when he asked me if I wanted to race the marathon relay that we are running on Sunday. He wanted to do 1 mile intervals (since it's a 1 mile loop course, relay teams can run it however they want). He thought it would be fun to each run a mile around 8:00/mile and see what kind of marathon time we could get. I snapped, telling him that I'm in no shape to run fast and that I can't do it. End of discussion. He told me I have a crappy attitude. He's usually right.
I guess I have some pretty lofty goals for myself this year and so far, January and February have been less than stellar in getting me to those goals. I'm seeing improvement in some areas, but it's coming so slow. Maybe March will be better...
Okay, off to sweat out my crappy attitude on the bike for an hour.