Remember the teeter totter on the playground as a kid? Looking back, now as a triathlete, what better form of exercise for a kid. I mean, you get a friend to sit on the other end (hopefully someone heavier than you so you fly up in the air) and go up and down, up and down. Talk about quad workout! If I had only known that I’d love biking so much as a “grown-up” – chalk that up as a “if I knew then what I know now”.
Anyway, I’m stuck on a teeter totter of life right now. Standing in the middle of it like that bratty know it all punk on the playground - balancing. I’m standing in the middle and the two “people” on either end are fighting for my attention. But which way do I sway?
On one side, I have the REV3 Full up at Cedar Point. I signed up for this race back in February after yet another round of the old “I don’t want to do a 140.6 distance race this year”. My intention after last year’s miserable fail at the distance was to take a year off, regroup if you will, focus on some short stuff, maybe some speed and then pick back up, if I felt like it, in 2012. Then Trakkers came along, the lure of a 140.6 in my home state, with so many blogger, teammates and real life friends. How could I pass that up? I jumped on it and was chugging along just great until about a month ago. Then it hit. Maybe I need to refer to the email advice that I shared on this post so lovingly (it’s easy to give advice, but to listen to your own, eh… you know). I was in a low point something fierce. It helped that the hubs was with me. After a few “failed” workouts (it’s hard to call 12 mile runs and 95 mile bikes failures, but I did), we just said we needed to recharge.
And that brings me to the other side of the teeter totter – the Half Rev up at Cedar Point. I’ve gone as far as changing my registration to the half, convinced that I needed to recharge the batteries. I’ve been doing a lot of short races and loving it. I’m seeing huge improvements on my bike, my run is coming along, swimming (wait, that’s part of triathlon???), it’s going okay. I’m having fun. The prospect of doing the half has been a sweet relief. I think I can do it and have a good race.
But lately, I’m finding myself standing in the middle of that teeter totter, wondering if I should go back to the full. I’m in the best shape of my life. I’m at my race weight today, 7 weeks out from the race. I’ve done a century, a 95 mile bike and have a century planned this week. Heck, by the end of the month I’ll have logged 700+ miles on my bike. My running is feeling good. We had a killer run on Saturday and when Tom texted me to say “what’s up” my response was “my confidence”. It just felt good. I have a 15, 17, and 19 miler already planned before Cedar Point because of my marathon training (did I mention I’m running Chicago in October???). So I sit here wondering… if I’m putting in the miles, why not do the full?
How can I be 47 days out and teetering still? I know I can do it, but who registers for a full, then a half, then a full? What if I have a crappy race and regret not doing the half? What if I do the half, but see all my friends and regret not doing the full? The course will be filled with tons of familiar faces, all facing the same struggles that I will that day, but we’d be in it together, cheering each other along. Then again, I could be plopped on my butt with two Texans (yes, I’m admitting that), drinking some cold ones, screaming like a little kid after my 5.5 hour race.
At some point I’m going to need to take that first step off the center of the teeter totter toward one direction. And we all know that once you start leaning toward one side of a teeter totter, you must commit to that side. Trouble is, I don’t know which way to go…