Tuesday, September 4, 2012
When life... well happens
It's easy to give good advice - you know what's usually the right thing to do so when someone is at a crossroads in life. For instance, I would never tell someone to pass up eating at Mellow Mushroom (I mean, hello, have you had their Parmesan pretzels and their buffalo chicken pizza???). Or to not eat a whole back of Cheetos in one sitting. I mean really, I seem like I'm genuinely good at giving advice. Now listening to my own advice... eh, that's tricky.
I told a dear friend this past summer (more than once), that it's okay, life happens and to just follow her heart and do what she loves. She was struggling with some changes that were preventing her from training for what she had originally set out for later in the summer, just a hobby that makes up maybe 1% of her awesomeness. Every time we talked, she would tell me how busy she was with work (which she was loving), how at the end of the day, she wanted to relax, unwind and be with the ones she loved, but that she was really struggling with what she thought she should be doing. Life was happening. She couldn't control that. It was this never ending circle of feeling torn. She needed to do what made her happy.
And then life happened. If I would just listen to my heart for once, I would have known the right thing to do a long time ago. But like I said, that's easier said than done. I kept plugging forward, thinking that eventually it would all grown on me again.
This year has been less than easy on me. I've written about starting over in a sense, being challenged with my new surroundings, about loss, about finding my path. And I have finally hit a point where I need to listen to my own advice for once and do what I need to do (this time, not involving the advice on Mellow Mushroom (I eat there enough) and the Cheetos (they are always in my pantry)).
And while Tom and I are smiling probably more than ever, it's just not at the triathlon/training part. I've cut nearly ever race out of my schedule this year - it just doesn't excite me. I like swimming, and biking, and running here, but I just want to do what I want to do and not have something looming over me (ie a big race, expectations of pr's, disappointment of less than stellar events, etc.) I love the new city, the opportunities, the friends I've made. But life has thrown me some curveballs - some of which I've blogged about, some which I haven't, and I've been left to find my way through the madness, unsure of which path I should take.
Because so much has changed for me through August (it really WAS a sucky month), I've taken a step back. For once, I AM listening to my own advice. I need to follow my heart which really isn't in racing. I need to regroup, settle down a little. I need to do what I love and love what I do each and every day. I need focus on what defines me, not what I think others see me as or assume I am. I need to give life a chance to calm down, or maybe a chance for me to catch up to it.
Because, in the end, we're only given one life. We need to make the most out of every day that we are given. Why spend it doing something that isn't making us happy?