As some of you might remember August sucked for us. Big time. My grandfather passed away. My sister's (and kind of my) first dog passed away. And two days after my grandfather's memorial service, I found out that I was miscarrying. I didn't talk about it much at all, which is weird. Women tend to do that. But I come to find out that miscarrying is SUPER common... like way more common that you think. I was only about 5 weeks along and the doctor said that I should have no problems getting pregnant again.
Lo and behold, 4 weeks later I was staring at a positive pregnancy test. Happy birthday Tom... we're going to be parents. :)
I decided to wait until my first trimester was over to announce it, in fear of miscarrying again. That's the part that people couldn't explain to me... the constant fear that something is going to go wrong. Every time I felt a twinge, my heart sank (and you feel a ton of them those first 13 weeks). I was fearful I wasn't eating the right things. Or drinking enough water. Was the one diet coke doing damage? How about running, biking and swimming? I was in a world of the unknown.
At 8.5 weeks, we got to have our first ultrasound. I sobbed. I had a real live sour patch kid living inside of me. And it's heart was beating 172 bpm (Tom and I joked that it was in zone 5 all the time). This was really happening.
We told my mom and dad (who are besides themselves to be grandparents). We told my sister and John (who are going to be the world's most amazing aunt and uncle). We told Tom's mom and dad. We told my extended family. And then a select few others. But I did pretty good of keeping this to myself (that's hard for me. I'm a babbler.)
Finally, yesterday, we had another ultrasound. We were given the option for some early screening for birth defects and although we don't care of the results (we'll love this child no matter what), we knew that it involved another ultrasound and a chance for us to see Baby K again.
Because if it didn't feel real then, it sure did now! We came home with the goofiest grins on our faces. From the outside no one would know that I'm pregnant. But if you could see my heart, you'd know that I love this baby more than anything already!!!
We held off telling people until we knew we were in our second trimester. We held off finishing our Christmas decorations, until we knew things were going well.
Okay, so some of the things that people have been asking or you might be wondering...
- I'm due June 4th. I should hopefully escape the heat of the Georgia summer while I'm the size of a whale.
- Yes, we want to know the sex of the baby. And yes, we will tell people that. We won't tell people what we are naming the baby though. That will be our little secret.
- I'm still running. Kind of. I will say that was the hardest part of my first trimester. I ran a half marathon with Matt when I was about 6.5 weeks. He knew at the time and we kept it really slow the whole time, finishing at 2:05. At 8.5 weeks I ran 7 miles of the Atlanta marathon relay. Other than that, I've maxed out around 5 miles. I don't wear a heart rate monitor when I'm running and truly go by feel. If I can talk, I'm doing okay. It's slow and fairly ugly. There are many days when it feels like a 300 pound man is sitting on my chest while I run. I'm hoping that the second trimester gets better.
- Instead of running, I've been doing a lot of walking. Charlie loves it. I'm bringing biking back. And swimming. Soon.
- First trimester fatigue is no joke. I literally slept 12 hours a night and could nap at any time. I never understood this until I was pregnant. I mean, really, how bad could it be, right? Holy hell, it's bad. If I make it past 9pm, it's a good night and thankfully I work from home so I get up when I want. Poor Tom only gets about 12 hours a day with me now. :)
- I didn't get sick. I had about 2 weeks where dinner was less than appealing, but I never puked. I know that I'm super lucky. As someone who recently miscarried though, this was kind of a curse, as I feared something was wrong because I wasn't sick.
- Chicken is not appealing. Meat in general isn't. Veggies don't sit well with me. I'm not doing very good with the healthy stuff. But I'm trying.
- I've gained maybe 2 pounds and I will swear up and down I know exactly where those two pounds have gone. I've already had to buy new bras. Enough said.
- Pregnant people are coming out of the woodwork when they hear that we are expecting. I love it. I think we have 10 couples now that are due between April and July, and then one due this week (yay Smith's!!!) and one due around Christmas. Seems all but one couple is in the same boat as us... married a while and just waiting for the right time, between racing, traveling, etc. and now having their first. It'll be fun to get all the kiddos together in the future!
- I'm deathly afraid that my child will hate me. That's totally normal though, right? :)