After many months of struggling to lose about 15 pounds before tri season starts (and finding that I've actually GAINED some weight in the past few weeks) I have decided to join Weight Watchers again. Tom and I were biking last night and I just thought about how I've struggled with my weight long enough. For those of you that don't know me, I was on WW for about a year prior to meeting Tom and lost nearly 25 pounds. Since then I've gained about 15 of it back. It's a program that works, one that's easy to follow, but I just never stick with it on my own when I try. I guess I need to accountability of someone weighing me in, of paying $12 a week to be weighed in, sitting through a 30 minute meeting talking to me about portion sizes and things like that.
I'm a little apprehensive and kind of mixed with different emotions about it all. First, it bums me out because I had hoped to be able to do it on my own, but I have finally just surrendered and said that I can't. I know I can't. If I could, I would have for the past 5 years! Second, I'm worried about the reactions I'll get from others at the meeting. I've gone through the eye rolling and the "why's she here" comments before and it's hard. No, I'm not huge and don't need to lose a lot of weight, but I still struggle just like everyone else there. I hope that people can see that and will accept that. I know the instructor of the meeting I'm going to and I hope that she's supportive. My sister will be there and I hope she won't laugh at me for coming. Sometimes I think it's harder for someone like me - I mean heck, I'm training for an Ironman for Pete's sake. But we all have our own struggles, and this is mine.
This is my year. I'm owning it. I'm making my events my own and I'm doing every thing that I do for myself. And to fully take control of it, I need to do this for once and for all. Thanks for listening to me, hopefully you 'll understand too.