Race Schedule and Results

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Earning my halo

Today I think I might have entered Saint-hood. I'm serious... you decide...

So my mother-in-law lives in the country, not far from us, but on 7 or so acres. She has a plethora of animals, not limited to 4 Jack Russel terrors terriers, 2 cats, a pond worth of fish and now, 14 chickens. Well 13. Anyway, when they travel (which is often) Tom and I house/animal sit. It's a lot of work, but there are perks - a complete gym, a hot tub, a log cabin, and some cash, but I'm not going to lie... it's a lot of work!

So this Sunday, she called because they were leaving. One of her favorite chickens is sick. For some reason it's neck is turned up and it's beak is facing the ceiling. She expects it to die while she's gone and gives us instructions on how to dispose of the chicken when it does since the ground is frozen. Lovely.

(Now I need to add, I'm not a fan of the chickens. They freak me out. They are mean. They peck at me. They fly in small spaces. The smell funny. And I hate eggs)

So for the last few days, I've been on chicken duty in the mornings and hubby takes care of them in the evening. They live in this cute little coop: And each morning I go out to feed them, make sure they have water, and take in any eggs that have been left.

The sick chicken has been looking baaaad. We get a call from my mother-in-law that she found a vet that would take a look at it (and in our farm town, there really aren't that many around that deal with chickens). Just so happens that Tom is waiting for a delivery of carpet at our house and yours truly has morning chicken duty AND vet duty. We put the chicken (who for all we know has some bird flu or something) in a cat crate and I put it in the back of my father-in-law's car. I literally shutter the entire way to the vet which is 35 minutes away because it freaks me out to be in a car with a chicken, let alone a sick chicken.

You see... I dreamed of being a lot when I was young. A teacher, a doctor, a scientist, a wife, a mom - but NEVER a farmer... or a chicken raiser.

I get to the vet, bring said sick chicken in for an exam. The vet is super nice, but starts asking me if I've looked into the bird's eyes, and a bunch of other questions that finally got answered with a "this isn't my chicken and quite frankly, I'm not really fond of the animals so I just do what I need to do". He tells me that the bird is having seizures and possibly has brain damage. We get my mother-in-law on the phone and he finally tells her that it would probably be best to put the chicken down and get some tests done to make sure that it didn't have an infection that will make the other 13 chickens die. She agrees.
Now I'm stuck with signing the paper work to put the poor 3 pound bird down.

The kicker - I need to bring it 45 minutes away for an autopsy.

I can't make this up people.

So they do what they need to do, put the bird in a bag, kindly put it back in the cat carrier for me and in my trunk and I drive it across town for the autopsy.

We'll have the results in a few days.

Are you all blinded by the glaring light of my halo???

34 comments:

Big Daddy Diesel said...

LOL "I can't make this up people."

right before I read that line, I went "wow, no one can possibly make this up"

girlevolving.com said...

Oh my word! This is the most awesome story!

Allison said...

Wow. You truly are a saint.

Just wow.

Copychic said...

I wonder what a chicken with brain damage behaves like

Kim said...

you just cant make that shit up. that's so crazy. Saint Colleen - has a nice ring to it.

ONEHOURIRONMAN said...

Now me, I would have had fried chicken and skipped the leg work...

misszippy said...

You have earned it, BIG time!

Meredith said...

I don't even have anything to say to this. Crack me up!!!

Jeff - DangleTheCarrot said...

Lots of awesomeness in this story - aside from the death of your MIL fav chix!

First, those chickens live a plush life! Wow, nice crib they are rockin!

You do deserve a halo - I would have shot the bird and just told the MIL it died just to avoid all the hassle. Then again I'd love to be a farmer - think they would adopt me?

Shannon (IronTexasMommy) said...

El Pollo Loco! Ha! You definitely deserve the halo! :)

Molly said...

yikes.

I can see the glare from your halo from here : )

Emz said...

halo doesn't even begin to cover it.

that coop rocks!

you are angelic.

Bill said...

Sounds like you earned a gym workout and a soak in that hot tub. Hope the other birds are OK.

Rebecca said...

Today has been a rough day for me so that story put a HUGE smile on my face. Thanks! I loved it.

Aunt Nan said...

Greatest story of this year! You definitely deserve that halo. No way would I be putting a chicken (dead or alive) in my car. Love you, honey.

My Life and Running said...

Oh my, are you a good daughter in law!!

Beth said...

You poor thing, I work with animals daily and know how hard it can be. What a nice daughter in law, I bet a lot of people wouldn't do that.

Kristen said...

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. Only because I'm your sister am I allowed to laugh. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

P.S. I can see the glow of your halo all of the way over here in P-town!

tri like mary said...

That is the funniest darn thing I've read in a LONG time. You are a saint!

Aimee said...

Um...you definitely earned your halo! I would have been freaking out too!

Christi said...

Wow, that is a very unique story and you definitely deserve the halo!

Anne-Marie said...

Hilarious! What an adventure - you definitely earned your halo for this!

I love how the vet asked if you'd looked into the chicken's eyes... LOL. All I can picture is that scene from Napoleon Dynamite where he's trying to move the chickens around and they're all flapping their wings and pecking around...

Laura Wheatley said...

No.way.

Mark said...

I think what grants you the halo is that it is your mother-in-law. I mean. we would almost do anything for our parents, but the out-laws, now that's a different story.

Kidding, of course, or am I. You definitely go through the fast lane at the pearly gates!

e410 said...

Aaahahaha "I can't make this up people" that is hilarious. Aww, poor chicken! Such is life I guess? Way to be awesome and take care of your m.i.l.'s chickens. That's dedication right there!

Gotta Run..Gotta Ride said...

I am dying from your story. This would SO happen to me.

You are an angel from above!! ha!

Betsy said...

I am not a chicken or bird lover either. I am totally creeped out by them. I am in shock and awe that someone would actually bring a chicken to a vet. Or have a favorite chicken. Can you even tell them apart? You definitely went above and beyond!

The Hungry Runner Girl said...

I am sending you a gold medal in the mail today! You are amazing. You earned that one.
P.S. you are so right there is no way to choose just one ice cream flavor!

Caratunk Girl said...

That is crazy. Now, you know we all need the autopsy results.

N.D. said...

oh my goodness!!! You are a saint. no way Id go near these chickens! poor lil guy. So for the running skirt-they never even responded to my email to do a review. I hate companies like that ! I think it is worse though if they say they are sending and never do. That hap to me w naturally nutty and now I boycott them.def other cute running skirts out there!

Annie said...

My Dad and Step-Mother also live on a farm, and also have chickens. I am pretty sure I would NEVER do what you did. You are a saint!

Detroit Runner said...

Yeah, you cannot make this stuff up. LOL.

Wes said...

hey, thanks, but I'll have someone else watch my pets :-)

Jason said...

This was the kicker of the entire story:
"this isn't my chicken

I know chicken and farmer weren't what you dreamed of but in your life would think to ever say those words.

You are an angel.

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