Balance

I've been a bit overwhelmed lately. I think that would be the right word. And I'm really bad at handling being overwhelmed. When I have more than one project going on at a time or one emotionally draining situation, I tend to shut down. I get cranky. The hubs and I argue. I eat. I sleep. I guess I'm not good at the whole multitasking thing. But in my defense, it's just been a lot of adjustments, new responsibilities, etc. and I'm working on getting those ducks lined up.

As Tom and I were running our second set of 81+ laps at the gym this week (I have more gym observations... keep reading), we started talking about the whole "Word of 2011" idea. At the same time, we both said Balance.

Balance

That is our word. And it's not just balancing the eight million things that need done on any given day (although I'll get to that). It's balancing my emotions for things I can't control too, which is probably the bigger problem lately.

I think the hardest part is identifying what will help balance your life. For me, here's a glimpse:

• Giving up kickboxing. Well not totally. I've quit the kickboxing studio. I've learned a lot in the three months that I was there. My gym has two bags and I'm hoping to put myself through a workout two or three times a week. The drive was 25 minutes each way for the kickboxing class and that's valuable time. Plus, doing that three days a week meant that I was swimming, biking and running twice each a week and I felt like it wasn't enough - and my workouts struggled when I did kickboxing in the morning and my tri workouts in the evening. I was down a road of burnout if I wasn't careful. It's hard still to workout 1.5-2+ hours 6-7 days a week. Yes, I want to be happy and yes, I want to be healthy. But I'm not a pro.
• Give up some control over our fundraiser to my very capable committee. They are an amazing group of people and so many times I find myself saying "it's just easier if I do it myself" (do you do this too?). I don't know if it's because I trust myself way more than anyone else and the success of this fundraiser very much falls on my shoulders, or if I just like to create more work for myself. It's no wonder I have my committee is always so happy... I shield them from a lot of the mundane tasks! I'm kidding... they will do a great job filling my shoes in some areas!
• Finding time to not only foster the business relationships that I already have, but also market to new people. This is super hard for me since Tom now has a full time job that doesn't have to do with our company. Our success depends on my daily/weekly/monthly/quarterly/annual effort. Admitting the problem is the first step right?
• I've written a little about the emotional drain of some seriously toxic friendships that I lost this year. I can't lie and say that the day the sh*t hit the fan, I instantly moved on. I didn't. That wouldn't have been normal. I don't wish that things were different, but I wish I had answers or that I could have had some control in how things ended. Some days I wish that those people hurt the way I did. (I know... that's horrible to say) I know that if things hadn't happened when they did, they would have eventually crumbled apart. I had actually predicted that it would have happened in December of 2010. Kind of weird that I saw it coming and didn't get away. I hold on to that a lot. I need to balance the frustration that I still struggle with, with the great friendships that I do have.
• I have another rocky relationship with two people who are very close to me. It's been rocky for years now and without going into too much detail, I can't just drop them from my life. They've made me see things that I don't like, traits that I would never want others to see in me or Tom. I want things to be different and unfortunately they never will be. I know that. It's not something I have the power to change. Again, I need to find peace in the fact that there are so many people in my life that aren't like these people. And that it's okay to be frustrated, but not every day.

This is just the start of a very important year. I think it's going to be a great one, but to balance it all is going to be the only way I come out on top!
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And some non-deep-life-pondering stuff.

I lost 4.2 pounds last week. I didn't have a single cookie. I honestly believe that was the reason for my success. (maybe that and counting ww points, measuring my portions, and doing all of my workouts). This week... um... yeah. Well there's always next week. :)

I'm super excited that I'm finally starting to register for my 2011 races. There's something about actually getting the sign up confirmation that makes it real. Like there's no backing out now. Definitely a good motivator (especially when you put a countdown widget on your desktop homepage and you see it a million times a day). My frist tri is in 122 days? That's can't be right can it? Bigger motivator... being part of Team Trakkers and hearing about how my teammates are being rock stars and training hard for all of their races. You guys rock!

You want gym observations? It was a pretty quiet day yesterday. First to the girl on the treadmill with no tv (why anyone would choose this one is beyond me). You probably don't need to bring your portable fan that YOU attached to the treadmill if you didn't wear tights, shorts, and a long sleeve inside. You brought your own fan. And you wore sunglasses. Just an FYI, my husband thinks you're a diva. And to the guy kickboxing in the corner. We like the shadow boxing with the bag as it swings back and forth, but it sounds like you are going to break your foot when you kick it with no shoe on. Did you notice your super red and already swollen foot? We did. That's not normal dude.

Lastly, it's funny how the little things can make me so happy. I bought a new purse yesterday. Guys you might not understand the pleasure that can bring. But what about this...we also bought a 32" flat screen (which was totally a necessity because our main tv died). We now have HD on almost all of our channels. Welcome to 2011 Kingerys!