Race Schedule and Results

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Biking insults


I'll be honest... the prospect of biking on the road with cars, trucks, semis, etc scares the bejeezus out of me.  I've heard too many horror stories about people who have been hit, run off the road, pelted with things, and generally not accepted on the road to feel 100% comfortable at any time. 

In Ohio, there was at least a little bit of comfort... we could bike for miles and miles without seeing anyone.  Or anything.  Honestly, it was kind of boring.  But, that just meant that the ratio of total asshats to courteous people was really high.  Always good for the nerves.  We had people scream things, usually inaudible things that I'm sure were total compliments on the rate of speed I was traveling or the cute biking tank I was sporting.  We've been spit on (that one ended well... with Tom catching up to the said asshats and pounding on their window, probably causing the 17 year old boys inside to crap themselves).  We had one guy stop his car (I actually believe that the beater broke down right after passing nearly running us off the road) and he then got in a screaming match with the hubs about how he pays taxes and that we shouldn't be on the road.  Hum... last time I checked, the IRS was doing a damn fine job of taking most of the money that I earned as well mister.

So when we were told that Georgia ranks 45th out of 50 in bike fatalities, I was thrilled (that means that there are only five other states worse than us... Tom assumed Missouri after riding across it in RAAM twice... he was wrong - they are actually Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana, South Carolina and Florida in case you were curious).  But I have been pleasantly surprised at how much room people give us.  Maybe it's just where we are biking. Or the fact that Tom and I know the rules of the road, stay to the right at all times, signal when we are turning and ride single file (no, that last one has nothing to do with Tom's biking ability versus mine... I promise we do it for safety reason. Really.)

So I had to laugh when we were out on Saturday.  Tom and I had planned out a 55 mile route around Lake Lanier.  A beautiful Saturday by the lake and we didn't know the roads.  That could be scary.  We were only on one or two sections that were 55mph which always scare me. But people gave us plenty of room.  I got whistled at once... and honked at once which totally doesn't bother me.  But the absolute best thing happened two miles from our house.  We were just about to make a turn onto a back road that leads to our neighborhood and a pick up drives by.  In a very thought out, clear as day voice we hear the best comment ever from a driver.

"Nice wiener".

I have never laughed so hard in my life.  The kid obviously thought that one out well because he timed it perfectly, even leaning his head out the window so that the sounds could carry across the 4 lanes of traffic, all while taking into account the speed he was going and the wind.

If you are going to get yelled at on a bike, I'll take "nice wiener" over "f*ck you" or "get off the effing road".

I tell ya... I'm smitten by the southern hospitality here!

30 comments:

ONEHOURIRONMAN said...

I'm lost..
Did Tom have something hanging out?
Or did you stop at the 7/11 for a hot dog?

Wes said...

Gwinnette County is full of riders. I'm sure you'll be able to find some quiet-ish roads that remind you of Ohio. If ever you want to do a Bud Plant ride out in Cartersville, let me know! If I get passed by three or four cars on the 48 mile route, it's a heavy day!

Christi said...

That is a great story!

Big Daddy Diesel said...

This is why I only want to ride in a group, safety in numbers

Although, I have heard many, many things out on the road, I can not say that was ever one of them

Pamela McGowan said...

Where in OH did you live lady? Hubby and I live in Mentor and almost never get the road to ourselves, Cleveland suburbs tend to be busy I guess. And fairly rude.

I would say that I get yelled at almost weekly by some d-bag kids, random hicks who don't want to share the road or just people being dumb. I have been flipped off, heard eff you, get off the road, whistled at, yelled at with just screaming like woohoo and a couple weeks back my husband and I were flashed by some teenagers. they were just boys lifting their shirts but we laughed hard at that one.

You gotta love being on the roads. You never know what the day will bring.

Melissa C said...

that's awesome

Mandi Runs said...

Bahahaha! I love that! "Nice wiener!"

Kovas Palubinskas said...

He probably slapped himself in embarassment after that one.

Heather-O said...

I have to agree with you. I'd take "Nice Wiener" any day ;)

FitnessFatale said...

I actually have a blog post drafted about this same topic! I hate the fact that drivers hate us so much :(

Kim said...

I could understand that insult/comment if i were wearing my winner not weiner bathing suit but so random, unless tom was ahem peeing?! :)

Tara Martine said...

Ha! Funny story! A few rides ago my husband got into a shouting match with a pickup truck driver and I was terrified he was going to pull out a shot gun!

Jason said...

Now that is some funny sh*t right there. When I see you and Tom at IMAZ I will be sure to shout out hey guys: Nice Weiner.....hilarious.

Ironman By Thirty said...

That is awesome! So much better than "Nice work Lance!" (which I never understood why that is an insult and not a compliment) or "Run Forrest" (when running of course).

RockStarTri said...

That has to be some sort of southern code word for one of the usual utterances.

I personally have never heard that one the road. Other venues? I won't comment.

Kurt @ Becoming An Ironman said...

Love it. As long as it's not an insult or anything making you think you're in danger, it must be good!

I must admit that while I prefer riding alone because I tend not to fit anyone else in training speed, I prefer the numbers game while in groups! haha

Jon said...

I am chuckling while shaking my head...

Bluegrass Tri Chick said...

Hey Colleen! I am sorry that I didn't make the connection on Sunday! I have been following you for quite a while. It would have been great to chat with you.

Jeff Irvin said...

hehehehe! Pretty damn funny!

Carolina John said...

Nice. I like it.

Jen Small said...

ha!! gotta love spandx

Kristin Deaton said...

Glad you had good experience. Most in country AL are ok...they don't yell they speak with their cars :-( I still don't go by myself and get scared sh*tless

Donna said...

hahaha! I laughed so hard at this!

You are right, they do give us a lot of room here in the south... I'm probably going to miss that about Mississippi! lol.

Deb said...

That's hilarious.

I am really nervous on roads. I don't have to ride many intersections, but I don't know how people in the middle of cities do it.

MissFancyPants said...

Awesome story!! I get so mad when biking - people are so rude!

Matthew Smith said...

Well, I don't really know what to say... That's pretty funny! I find that I get plenty of room on the roads too. Usually, the people are pretty nice and friendly rather than bitter from the cold winters in the north. I'm glad you're in the south!!!!!

Anne-Marie said...

That is hilarious and so random! I'd take "Nice wiener" over the usual honks/yells too!

Molly said...

that is so flippin' funny : )

JFord said...

HAHA, great story, but again this is why I like the trainer the majority of the time!

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