Goodybye 2009

I know that this will be my last post of 2009. Hard to believe that the year is over. I never imagined that 2010 would come. I remember thinking that we'd all be on hover boards and flying to space by this point. Maybe someday...

Things have been great here. Christmas was awesome - quiet and just the way we like it. Christmas Eve we spent alone, Christmas morning Tom and I did our own Christmas and then Christmas night we went to my mom and dad's for dinner. We did my side of the family's Christmas on Sunday after Christmas and Tom's side of the family's Christmas the Sunday before. I was spoiled like always! :)

Tomorrow night we're heading to our friend's house for a get together with our friends - just dinner and games. It's the perfect New Year's Eve if you ask me! :) I'm not a big rock star kind of partier... two or three glasses of wine and I'm at my finest! :)

Work outs have been going really well. I've been running mostly and have enjoyed many miles on the treadmill (wait, did I just use the words "enjoyed" and "treadmill" in the same sentence???) It feels good to run a little faster again and I'm seeing gains in my running. I hope they equate to outside running, although I'm a super big baby when it's cold so I'll have to wait to test it out! I have been following the pushup/situp/squat challenge and am loving it. It's hard... I'm not going to lie. But I'm amazed where I've come in only three weeks. When I started, I couldn't do a real pushup and now I'm at around 10 per set (not on my knees - woo hoo!). The first time I did situps, I mustered out 17 and just last week I did 35 in one set. Squats have been the easiest - I do set of 40-50 at a time and my legs feel like jello when I'm done. I'm definitely going to stick with it and can't wait to put the badge of honor on here when I finish each challenge.

We had the coolest thing happen the other day. Tom and I own a company. We have our own line of orthopedic braces (think knee sleeves, elbow sleeves, etc) that we sell wholesale. I've been babying the company for the last year (technically it's been my company since 2005, but I didn't really take control until this year). Anyway, the other day I went to the post office and there was a package in our PO. I opened it up to find the January/ February 2010 issue of "Experience Life" Magazine. Attached was a letter that said something to like "we just wanted to let you know that one of your products has been featured in our magazine. Please turn to page 66". I did and in right smack in front of my eyes was one of our products! It was super cool because we hadn't submitted anything to them... their equipment editors had picked out product as one of 5 top products that they were featuring this month. I was literally jumping off the walls with excitement. It was like we had hit it big finally. It's hard to build your company from the ground up and to get recognition like this was super cool. They said that they think that the magazine hits 2.4 million readers! My little claim to fame I guess!

As 2009 comes to a close, I wish all of you a happy and healthy new year. I look forward to sharing my next year with you...

It's all about giving

My favorite thing about the holidays is definitely the giving part of it. I laugh every night that we listen to a Ray Charles Christmas CD and one of the songs says:

Cause Christmas time
is really more than givin'.
It's spreading all the news of peace and love.
Christmas time
is all about receiving.
The gift that god has sent from up above.

The last line of that verse though is always lost when we listen to it (I don't know how we don't hear it and when I looked up the lyrics, it all made sense), but then Tom and I have the same conversation over and over about how we disagree with Ray. Ha... There is no greater joy than giving to people that I love, hence the fact that I bought Tom 19 gifts for Christmas. I know... those are material things, but the definition of "gifts" this time of year is more than the presents under the tree. I would much rather give than receive. I'm funny like that.

Tuesday, Tom and I are volunteering at the homeless shelter in downtown Columbus. Talk about giving... They have a big Christmas party there every year for the homeless families of Columbus. We'll spend the morning getting things ready (gifts wrapped for the kids, essentials for the parents , etc.) and then we'll work the evening party. Last year I think there were over 400 people in attendance. I've heard from others that it's an amazing experience and Tom and I are both really excited to be a part of it. I'm hoping to make it an annual tradition. :)

I keep reminding myself that the best way to live my life is selflessly. If I can give to others, be it my time, my love, my friendship or **gasp** "things", I'll come out a better person in the end. And at times when I'm feeling a little selfish ('cause I'll admit... I have the last day or so for a stupid reason), I just need to remember that it's all about giving!

It's the holiday season...

I love the holidays. Even though it's slow around here (work that is), it's fun to kind of play hookie when I can. Today we spent the whole day with my mother-in-law, helping her pick out stuff for the new bathroom that Tom's going to install. It's a huge project, but it's going to look amazing. So much fun being able to design on someone else's dime too! :)

My Christmas shopping is 99% done. I have yet to wrap a single present for Tom yet, but the family gifts are wrapped (I think I have things ass backwards though since we aren't celebrating Christmas with my family until AFTER Christmas). I guess I better get cracking on his 19 gifts - yeah, he's spoiled a little, although I stayed within our budget!!!). Just putting bows on things doesn't cut it in this household! :)

I've been enjoying my off season a ton too. I've had some good hard runs (and even a sub 25 5k on the treadmill the other day), I've not biked on the dreaded trainer, but I've played on the elliptical and swam. I'm feeling good - fresh and having fun. I did laugh because I went to the gym alone yesterday and swam. There was a guy in the lane next to me who would wait until I turned and then race me to the end and back. I'd turn and he'd stop to catch his breath. He totally tried to play it off that he wasn't racing against me, but here's the truth - Mr. I'm-going-to-race-the-girl-in-the-lane-next-to-me-who-is-actually-swimming-1500m-straight, you didn't win. Not once. And I wasn't racing you back. If I had picked up my pace, you would have gotten chicked really bad and I didn't want to ruin your evening. Plus I was singing along to my SwiMP3 player - makes you feel kind of dumb now doesn't it? Plus, who swims like 10 laps in a 20 meter pool and calls it a day? :) Just kidding - I was there once!

The 100 push up, 200 squat, 200 sit up challenge is going great too. I'm on week 2 and loving it. Don't know how the heck I'm ever going to do 100 push ups or 200 sit ups (the squats I'll master in no time), but it's fun trying!

The only bad thing about the off season - holiday weight gain. Tom looks amazing and hasn't gained anything since the Ironman (I actually think he's lost weight which is weird, but whatever). I haven't gained much - maybe 3 pounds total, but it's so darn frustrating. I want to eat everything.

Did I mention that I have a cookie exchange on Monday. 11 dozen cookies are coming home with me. BLAH. I think I'm going to give them all to neighbors. Except for the iced sugar cookies. Those will go in my belly. :)

Hey, it's the holidays right? :)

And then I uttered the words

Those 8 words that I didn't think I'd ever utter again -

I think I want to do another Ironman.

Tom and I were talking the other night and those words came out of my mouth. Talk about verbal diarrhea! What was I thinking and can I take it back? :) No, I meant it. That's the competitor in me. I had these goals to go sub 13 hours this year in Florida and it didn't happen. I was disappointed the days that followed my helluva race, but knew that I couldn't do anything about it. Now, after the wounds have healed, I just feel like I still have it in me. At some point. It's not going to be this year and quite possibly won't be next year. But, I foresee it happening before I enter a new age group (I turn 30 in February so that means I'll do another one as a 30-34 AG participant).

So what does my 30th birthday year hold?

• I have decided that I'm going to complete the 100 push up and 200 sit up competition. I'm going to start next week and would love to complete it by my birthday (February 5th), but realistically, I'll have to do a few of the weeks more than once and it's a 6 week competition. You may remember that I'm the Ironman that can't do a push up. :)
• I think I want to do another marathon (yup, more diarrhea of the mouth people). This time I'm aiming for a flat course. And a sub 4 hour race. My PR is 4:20 on a hilly course so we'll see.
• I want to go 2:3x in an Olympic. My PR is 2:42:xx. I.m anxious to work on my speed in the pool, do some intervals on the bike and well if I want to run a sub 4 hour marathon, I'm going to need to get my speed up a little which should equate on the run of an Olympic. I feel like this is where I struggled this year.
• I have a VERY lofty goal of a 1:49:xx half marathon. Last year I pulled a 1:51:10 out of my butt in April. Where that came from I don't know, but I kind of liked it. It's only an 8:23 pace which should be doable - but I have some work to do!

Now if I can just kick this cold that has my head in a bubble, maybe I can get cracking on these goals.

Some randomness

'Cause I can't put all my thoughts in a cohesive post (ah, the truth be told)

• I love getting jeans from the Gap for $9.99. That's a bargain. And they are size 6! (So what if the tag says that they are mismarked - I've convinced myself that they really must have been size 4's and that I'm actually get smaller after Ironman - a girl can hope right?). Even better when the hubster asks for his wallet for the credit card (which we have jointly) to tell me that he wants to treat me!
• I get annoyed easily. it's not a trait that I like about myself, but today for instance, we were in a bike shop. It's kind of a hippie bike shop. Just thought that I'd stop in and see if they had anything I must have. Not only did they not have anything that I must have (annoying), but they DID have the most annoying owner in the world. No, I don't care about your racing team, I don't care about what pro triathlete you hung out with and had to borrow his bike because yours was delayed and that you're scared of his wife, I didn't want to see your wife's website, I don't want the free pants you had in the back as long as I spent $75 in the store, etc. Case in point... I left with nothing in my hands and a huge amount of annoyance in my heart.
• It frustrates me that people close to me have crappy relationships in their life. And I'm not talking about husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. I'm talking family here people. I've had my fair share of crap with my "married-into" family. I deal with it daily. Tom deals with it daily. I wish others didn't have to go through it. If you are reading this, you know who you are and you are both great people. And your niece will come to you some day and tell you how crazy her mama and padre are and you will know that you are good people and can help her! :)
• I'm craving sugar cookies. Just wanted to throw that out there.
• My grandpa asked me how the Ironman was today and then followed the sentence up with "How's everyone else in your house?". I love him. He may have Alzheimer's and not remember that I'm married to Tom, but he's the happiest, most loving man in the world! :)
• Why can't grown-ups act like grown-ups?
• And why do some people feel the need to never tell the truth? At least I can smile about it now, but it caused me so much pain for 8 years.
• In high school I had a best friend. In college I had a best friend. Now that I'm an old married lady, it's reassuring to have found a new best friend. This time, I don't think that I'll grow out of the friendship. You're stuck with me for life girlie!
• My grandmother told my mom that Tom and I are such a cute couple and that when we decide to have babies, they are going to be adorable. Either that or they will look like bucktooth monkeys. I've seen baby pictures of both of us... we were sights to be seen. God bless her.
• Speaking of kids - I know I'm turning 30 in February. I know that I'm not doing an Ironman next year. I know that my mom doesn't have any grand babies and would love some little munchkin to spoil. Yet, the fear of giving birth to a human being scares me shitless. How do you get over that?

Sunday? Saturday?

I love holiday weekends because just when I think that tomorrow is Monday, I realize that it's only Saturday and I have one more day before I have to work again. Maybe my brain is still in a food coma from Thursday's dinner!

Friday morning I did something that I always wanted to do and never could find anyone who was willing to do it with me - I got up at 3:30 to Christmas shop. I didn't really have all that much to get, but what a way to get into the spirit. I met my friend Rhiannon at 4am at Kohls and we hit probably 10 other stores before parting ways. It was so much fun. Tom never would have enjoyed it. Between the lines and the sleep deprived chipper women (and men), it would have been enough to make him divorce me - hell he slept until just before I got home. It's definitely a tradition that Rhiannon and I are going to have each year!

It's hard to believe that it's almost December. I don't know where November went. I feel like I just did the Ironman last week. And December is going to be busy so I'm sure I'll soon be saying "where did December go". Between cookie exchanges, secret santa exchanges, the actual holiday, a Christmas jazz show, and New Year's Eve, I think it's going to be over before I can blink.

Lots of plans for 2010 - trips, racing, business, etc. One of these days I'll spell it all out in a "where do I go from here" post which should have been the one after my final Ironman post. :)

Best of luck to Kim tomorrow in Cozumel. I know she won't be reading this before the race, but I'm sending you big kick ass vibes from Ohio. I've gotten over my jealousy of her being in Cozumel, especially knowing what lies ahead of her tomorrow!!! Go get 'em girlfriend, or should I say "Buenas suerta, chiquita!"

And then it fell apart

Or maybe I fell apart!

T2 was fine. I was happy to be off my bike and quickly made my way through changing and hitting the potties once more before the run.

The first mile or so of the run I felt fine. Kind of in a fog quite honestly. I saw my friend Edie and her brand new son cheering me on right outside of transition and I think that carried me for a little while. But then my stomach flipped. It hadn't felt "right" on the bike, but didn't really bother me. With every step of the run, it flipped over once more. I saw Tom at mile 3 and faked a smile, told him about my penalty on the bike (which made him laugh) and continued on my way. I shuffled. That's about all I could muster. I knew it would be a long day.

I saw my mom and dad at mile 5. I told them I wasn't feeling great, but that I'd be fine. I knew that it would worry my mom to tell her how I really felt. Miles 6, 7 and 8 were very hard - emotionally and physically. I wanted to be running, but my stomach was horrible. I tried Tums, I tried making myself sick, I tried anything I could at the aid stations. I was running through St. Andrews park and it was beautiful. The sun was setting. I was running in an Ironman. I wanted to feel good. My legs felt fine. Why couldn't I go? This picture makes it look like I was having fun.When I saw my parents again around mile 9, I told them that I knew I'd be walking soon. My stomach just couldn't take the jostling of the run. About the same time I saw Tom and that's when I lost it.

FULL.OUT.TEARS

I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to walk. I wanted to feel as good as he look. It just wasn't happening. He hugged me, told me to do a run/walk, told me he loved me and that he believed in me. I didn't believe in me at this point. I shuffled along to the half way point. I saw mile 14. 12.2 miles left. I can do this.

But I was so nauseous. I started walking around mile 15. I just figured I would walk the rest of the race. It's a humbling thing to have to walk a race that you know you are fit enough to run, simply because of your upset stomach. It's the only way that my stomach was alright. No great, but alright. I saw my mom around mile 18 and told her that I was walking and would like her to walk miles 20-25 with me (just to give me company). It was totally dark at this point and my legs were starting to hurt from walking. At mile 17, I decided that I needed to figure out if it felt worse to shuffle slowly or walk. I was back in the park and at this point couldn't see anything. I befriended a guy who was in the same boat as me. He was sick, walking, in pain. He wanted to finish, but knew that the road was still a long one. We would point out things - lights, cars, trees, and say "let's run to that spot". Then we'd walk a little. We repeated this until we were out of the park. Michael (my new Ironman friend) asked if I do this alone. I told him that Tom had already finished and on cue, as if I had planned it, Tom bikes up. Seeing him totally lifted my spirits!

After Michael figuring out that my hubby was a badass, we talked about me walking with my mom. I asked Michael what his goal was and he said that he would continue our shuffle/walk plan. He gave me company. I thanked my mom when I saw her and just told her to meet me at the finish.

My stomach started to feel better in the last 6 miles. I don't know if it was the walking or what. Michael and I talked about everything... it took my mind off things. Our walk breaks became longer and although I probably could have shuffled in, I stuck with him. I didn't care about my time and I knew that I would finish. I was so elated that I didn't feel like I wanted to hurl.

At mile 25 I wanted to run in. I was **this** close to the finish and I knew that my adrenaline would get me there. Michael stopped to use the potty and I said my goodbye to him. I was off to become an Ironman again. The last mile was a blur. The crowd was amazing. As I rounded the corner to the finish, I saw that I had the shoot to myself. And let me tell you ...

IT WAS AMAZING!

So much different that last year, but just as cool! I took it all in, repeated to myself "you must not trip, you must not trip". I smiled as they said "Colleen Kingery, you are an Ironman". I think the picture says it all.This wasn't the race that I thought it was going to be, or even hoped it would be. I had images of myself PRing, feeling great, smiling the whole way. The Ironman Gods definitely tested me. They humbled me a little. They toughened me up a bit. I learned a lot about pushing myself past the point of comfort, I learned what the draft box is, I learned that I don't give up when the going gets tough. That's all part of the Ironman journey. And unless you've done an Ironman, you can't fully appreciate it. It's so much more than a really long day of swimming, biking and running. It's a journey. You feel so alone at times and so part of a group of amazingly crazy people just like you. And there's no way to describe the feeling you get when you hear that you're an Ironman. The first time, the second - it doesn't get old!

Tom and I didn't sign up for next year's race. I'm happy. I need a change. I'm looking forward to shorter racing and training, to moving my business forward, to spending more time with family and friends, to strengthening my already amazing marriage, to having time for "me". I need this.

Thank you to everyone for your continued support. I have the world's best husband, who happens to be my training partner and best friend. Brady, you never cease to amaze me (he PR'ed by 10+ minutes this year) and I appreciate you pushing me, supporting me and loving me, tears and all! I have great parents who have yet to miss an important race and I thank them so much for their continued support as their daughter takes on these crazy challenges. I thank my sister and brother-in-law for the constant pep talks!!! I have an extended family that many could only dream of. I have the most amazing friends - your patience and support means so much to me and I'm so happy that I finally get to see you guys again! And to my blogger friends... I appreciate the friendships that I have with complete strangers! And to athlete #610 - thanks for getting me through those last 6 miles! :) You too are an Ironman now!!!