And I have accountability issues. There, I've said it. I have a wonderful family who supports me, friends who would be there at the drop of the hat, and a husband who puts every other husband in the world to shame. You'd think I would be accountable to someone right? Yeah, not the case. So I start this blog. After tears shed (too many to count), endless days of frustration and the final straw, admitting to Tom that *gasp* it's actually my fault that I've reached the weight I have, maybe I will have some accountability with random people I don't know, and those that I'm brave enough to share this with whom I do know.
I guess there shouldn't have been any surprises or "Eee gads and little fishies" (that's a direct quote from my grandmother) when I stepped on the scale this morning. I needed a starting point. Oh I got a starting point for sure... and people always tell me that it's easier to lose when you have more. Maybe that's why I've been eating so much lately... to make losing higher numbers easier (see... there's the accountability issue coming to a front!). Anyway, it wasn't a pretty sight, but I will admit it for all to see. And who says I can't be accountable.
So for everyone who laughs when I complain about my weight (yes mom and dad, Tom, Jill and everyone else) here are my stats and maybe a few goals.
As of today, September 5, 2007:
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 149.2
BF%: 27.9
BMI: 23.3
My goals:
1. drop 15 pounds (I know, how many people are going to write and tell me I'm crazy... whatever people! You don't have to look at me in the mirror!)
2. drop my body fat % by at 5%. I'm a muscular girl... I can do it.
3. Start eating off a kids place (you know the ones I'm talking about... the three section ones that I grew up eating off of and now have a huge complex about my food touching because of... yeah, I'm getting me one of them!)
4. Look at myself and be proud, because I can't do that now.
Wish me luck!
4 comments:
As women, we beat ourselves up terribly over our bodies! It is hard to love ourselves just the way we are, when we know that if we were just more accountable, we could be more attractive. After I delivered Brooke, I had to admit to Mike that some of my tears were due to vanity - why was my body blowing up like a balloon after the surgery?
Know that you are accountable also to love yourself. And we will do what we can as your friends and family to support you in that effort. Regardless of your body fat %. XOX Carolyn
For thought: http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/
You are beautiful, whether "large in your eyes" or tiny in mine. I love you regardless and I will help you however you need. xoxo
Wow. This blog was a shocker. I honestly didn't know what to expect. From someone who has struggled all her life with "the numbers", I can attest to the fact that it's frustrating, and most of all discouraging to work and work at something and see little or no results. I began my walking/running program in late May fully expecting to see fantastic results over the summer...not the case. Just the opposite...the numbers are going up. Why? Who knows. But I do remember, Colleen, you telling me that the numbers don't matter and it's how I feel. Fortunately, I feel wonderful so the numbers are becomming less and less important. But I do feel your pain, your anguish, your disappointment, your madness with yourself. But just remember one thing...in my eyes you're beautiful! I love you, hon, and back you 100% with this newest challenge. xoxoxox Mom
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