I knew this would happen eventually and I'm only shocked that it took this long.
I have a cold.
I feel yucky.
I have zero energy.
We've had a tough couple of days with workouts. Sunday we ran 20 miles. It was hellish to say the least. I don't know why, but I felt like someone had taken my hamstrings and tied them in knots. It was really frustrating because mentally I wasn't in the run at all. I had more moments of lows than highs. I doubted myself a lot and it was really annoying. And my running has gotten so slow. We only averaged 9:53's for the run. Funny that in April I did a 20 miler and averaged 8:44's. I'm looking forward to concentrating on my speed in the off season and get back into the sub 9's. I know it'll just take a little work and I'll be right back where I want to be!
Yesterday we set out for 100 on the bike. Again, my mind just wasn't right. It was chilly, and windy, and the last place I wanted to be was on the bike. I mustered my way through 79 miles and called it a day. I was spent, but happy that I had made it 79 miles further than I originally wanted to when I started out! Take that little person who sits in my brain and tells me I'm weak!
The past two days I felt like I was being put through the ringer. At this time in training, I should be able to get through both workouts without too many problems. Why was I struggling so much? I hate making excuses, but of course this morning I woke up with a sore throat and now I'm just drained. I'm sniffling, I'm sneezing, my head hurts. Maybe, just maybe, that has something to do with the total lethargy that I'm fighting (a girl can hope right???) Oh and I got a flu shot this morning so I feel like I want to rip my arm off.
Lovely site huh?
I don't know what it is about my second Ironman. The training has been so tough. I'm super excited about going to PCB and racing, but some days I feel like my heart just isn't 100% there. I want it to be, I talk to myself all the time about how it's going to be much harder if I don't get there mentally before race day, I visualize myself having a great day. But I've already decided that next year I don't want to do an Ironman. I feel like some days the Ironman defines me and I don't want that to be the case. I'm a triathlete, but that's not all I am. The Ironman (well really the training) is such a daunting task and it seems like it's really taken a toll on me mentally and physically so much more than it did last year. I think the break for me next year will do a girl some good. Can I get an Amen? Plus I'm super excited to become better in all three disciplines.
When the going gets tough (which it seems to be lately) I refer to a card that my wonderful friends gave me at the beginning of my training that says:
"Behind every success is effort...
Behind every effort is passion...
Behind every passion is someone with the courage to try."
I think that'll get me through the next month. And I know I'll be fine. And I know I'll have fun. I'm not a quitter or a wuss. It really does take courage some days...
I just hope this cold doesn't linger (and I secretly hope that's why I've struggled so much lately)