Knock Knock

Hello?  Is anyone there?  Is this thing on?

Ahem...

Hi.  Sorry that I've been gone so long.  Life threw me lemons and although I'm fairly good at making lemonade with them, I decided that this patch was worthy of more - like some tequila and salt.  It's been a long road, but we're in Georgia and loving it.  I love the town of Suwanee where we moved to, the house is amazing (albeit FILLED with projects that seem like they will never end) and I'm starting to feel like I'm home way faster than I ever thought I would.  That's good. 

But with all the good going on, I've been doing a lot of self evaluation and while I like some things, there need to be some changes too.  I think that's good to do every once in a while, as hard as it may be.  Honestly, sometimes you might not like what you find out about yourself.

For me, it's not about what I don't like about myself.  I just kind of feel like I'm on a never ending ride of commitments - all things that I brought on myself and things that no one else would ever give a damn about, but they eat me up inside.  I'm the kind of person that wants things done yesterday.  That's hard to do with a move.  Real hard.  And with training.  And with work.  You see how it starts to spiral.

So in my latest self evaluation, I decided that I needed to take control again.  I mean, this is MY life and I can do what I want with it.

Our first visitor comes on the 27th of April. Kristin dear, the house ain't gonna be done.  I will try to have a mattress for you to sleep on and I will have appliances in the kitchen to cook with, but there might be spackle on the walls, paint on the old floors, a bathroom without a sink.  We'll work around it.  The next set of visitors come in May (my momma and dad... yay!!!!).  For them, well, I know my hubby and that's why we're working such long hours each day - I kid, I kid.  We want to show off the house to you.  But, there will still be boxes laying around.  And there might not be new floors down yet. Heck, we might STILL have the poison ivy infested beds out front (okay, no, we won't), but I know that you'll love the house just the way it is.

As for training - here's the big one.  I had a nice little chat today with the best coach in the world.  She gets me right now and right now, my heart is anywhere but in training.  I've been in training for 6 years.  Longer if you count the "marathon years" (haha... the ones where I ran just one marathon a year as my only race... oh the days).  It saddens me that training has become a chore.  And this is probably the thing that I've struggle the most with through this whole move.  I want to run and bike and swim.  I love those things.  But I need to do it because I want to do it, not because I have to do it.  My season is changing a lot this year from what I had originally planned.  This is something that I struggle with too, but I know that I'm doing what's right for me right now and that's a good feeling.  I've been loving my nighttime exploration runs where Tom and I leave our neighborhood and just explore.  We've found some awesome trails and parks and old town Suwanee.  We talk about his day and mine (as we adjust to us not being together all day) and what we want to do this week, this month and this year.  I'm going to just "wing" it a bit for the time being and see what happens.  It's good for my mind and my soul.  I don't know if I'll be racing in Knoxville in less than a month and that doesn't worry me in the slightest.  I might not race at all this year.  We'll see.

And work... we'll business is booming which is amazing.  And I'll make due with the fact that my warehouse is in shambles and I can't find half of my inventory.  My customers know no different.  I'm getting into a daily routine that's better than it's ever been - I wake up early, walk the dogs, hit the office, fill my orders and before I know it, Tom's coming home and we're starting our day.  I'm getting used to this.

So life is good. 

One last thing about training.  So, these hills in Georgia. HOLY FREAKING WOW!  If you can't bounce a quarter off my butt after running these every day, nothing will stop the jiggle.  I think in the last 11 days I've run more net elevation gains that I have in 32 years of my life. 

And I'm loving that too.

I'm back people... Thanks for being patient with my absence and for being understanding as I figure out this game we call life.