Lesson of the day

Here's my lesson of the day - think before you speak.

It's not hard in theory, really, but I just don't get some people.  And here it is, 17 hours after someone spoke before thinking and I'm still fired up.  Maybe it's because of the person that said it and their inability to care or maybe it's the words, but in any event, I'm all fired up and this post will probably show that (that's my warning to you... hehehe)

I've smiled many times at stupid things that people have said to me over the years.  I've gotten fired up a time or two as well, I'll admit that.  Like the time we were ordering "Running On Insulin" rubber bracelets for a 4 mile race Tom and I were organizing to raise money for a local Diabetes Organization and the lady from the company that makes the bracelets suggested that we only order extra large ones since we were talking about diabetes.  The "you must be overweight to have diabetes" conversation does indeed fire me up.  A lot. And I would say that 100% of the time, it's because people don't know about the disease and don't think before they speak.

Or how about the number of times that a person says "oh I've run a marathon too - it was five miles and so hard".  That's cute.  I don't get too fired up about that one because again, it's probably more from lack of knowledge than anything.  I usually smile and try to correct them on what a marathon is, but sometimes I figure it's easier to not offend them by telling them they are wrong.  And I get that people don't understand that an Ironman is a triathlon.  So is a half Ironman, an Olympic distance, a sprint distance, etc.  Heck, any time you swim and then bike and then run, you are doing a triathlon. I've done that one a Tuesday in mid January at the gym. It doesn't matter the distance.

I guess it only really bothers me when someone speaks out of line. 

Remember the lady that asked me how many babies I was carrying when I was about 16 weeks along?  Or that she started that conversation by looking at my husband and saying "you did her good".  Yeah, that's not really appropriate and I'm assuming that she didn't think before speaking. (Of course, being me, I laughed about that for a while). 

So lately, as my belly grows and grows, people speak up.  What is it about talking to pregnant women and just saying whatever comes to mind - WITHOUT THINKING?  It's like your eyes see the bump and your mind says "I must make a comment, preferably inappropriate or something that will totally offend this poor woman who is overly emotional as it is". I've read so many blogs of friends who have written about what people have said to them as they are pregnant.  It's an epidemic if you ask me.  Most of it I can brush off, but sometimes my jaw drops, and I remain in awe.

Last night, Tom and I were talking to said person who fired me up.  I should preface it with the fact that I can easily get fired up about things this person says, but last night was classic.  They asked to see a picture of my growing belly and I sent them this one:

It's from Sunday.  I'm 29 weeks pregnant.  My belly is measuring two weeks ahead.  I've gained 18 pounds and I think besides my belly and chest, I have not gained a single pound elsewhere.  I'm damn proud of myself for this, for the fact that I still work out every day and that I feel like I'm having a healthy pregnancy.  I posted this picture on Facebook (which I'm hesitant to do because I'm so self conscious already) and people have been so incredibly nice, saying I look great and flattering me with compliments (which let me tell you, any pregnant woman at 29 weeks will gladly take a compliment about how they look great).  But not the person we were talking to last night.  Nope.  Their comment was "wow, you are huge.  And even in black clothes which usually make someone look so slim". 

Seriously.

My blood is still boiling.  Now I didn't send it to her in hopes that she would compliment me (I don't think she knows how to do such a thing), but seriously?  THINK.BEFORE.YOU.SPEAK!  I wanted to cry.

So here's my lesson for the day. If you see a pregnant woman, any pregnant women, don't tell her how big she is.  Think before saying what comes to mind first.  Remember that she's probably a little self conscious about the fact that she has a belly for the first time in her life, that she can't see her feet, that she can't tie her shoes, that maybe, just maybe she has finally accepted that this is part of the process and that she looks in the mirror and sees a healthy mom to be who is going to love her little girl more than anything in the world.  Definitely more than she will love you for making your stupid comment.