Okay... I apologize

Maybe my post the other day was a little bit of a downer. :) I'm not as crazy as I come across! I stupidly wrote a post when I was feeling down. It's funny to read now because wow, I'm a nut case sometimes! It helps that I write these things though, because to look back on them, I know that I'm not as neurotic as I sound! It really made me take a step back and ask myself if I really thought what I was writing that day... and I don't! The power of your emotions!!!

I know that I wrote about being perfect and the struggle that I'm going to have to be perfect. Such a hard word to define because I don't believe that there is such thing as perfection. I mean, my husband is as close as they come for me, but who I am kidding - he has flaws just like the rest of us. hehehe! When it comes to my lifestyle, I can be "perfect" in my eyes by making better choices and being happy with the life I live. That's it... it's a simple answer. And on days when I question this, maybe I need to come back to that post.

Too often we all strive for perfection. I guess in the "perfect" world, people would realize that perfection is only what you perceive as being perfect. Does that make any sense? So for me, perfection will only come when I stop being silly! :)

Is it working?

Last night on our run (which was a good one by the way!), Tom and I had a very hard but interesting talk about my weight. It's one of those things where I have good weeks and bad, and this one seems like a bad one. We've been house sitting and I have just been completely knocked out of my grove. I find myself snacking a lot more, not watching my portions, etc. Although I work out for an hour to and hour and a half each night, it just doesn't seem to be doing anything. I have been writing everything in my journal, although not portions and I think it's killing me. So our talk last night - it was that for me to lose 15 pounds I have to be PERFECT - no cheating ANYWHERE until I'm there. I got really upset about it because I'm torn. Should I work on accepting myself and my body for what it is now and be happy enjoying the foods I enjoy, or should I put myself on a very strict eating regiment to hopefully get to a weight that I *think* might make me happy. And when I do reach that *happy* weight, will I fall back into my old life and gain it all back, or will I have to live every day for the rest of my life knowing that I have to be perfect. I'm mean truly, what is perfect? No sweets? No soda and chips? No eating out? Small portions? I don't know. I'm so up and down with it and I just hope that I can find some answers within myself.

Tom loves me for me and that's a great gift. He just wants to be happy and that's an even greater gift. Now I just need to give myself the gift of happiness...

I keep changing my blog

Guess I haven't found a template that I love yet. I'll keep working on it!

I am so happy this morning. I got on the scale and was down 1.4 pounds. I really felt like I had a great week - eating lots of veggies and fruit, taking my vitamin each day, getting 4 strength training session and 6 cardio session in, eating out only 2 times, and generally watching my portions. I also wrote down everything that went into my mouth which was really good. I don't know if I can hit my goal of 5 pounds down before Vegas, but I know that I'm on the right track!

We're heading out for family pictures this afternoon. I can't remember the last time that we had a family picture taken - I know that John and Tom weren't part of the family yet. Should be fun! :)

Just checking in...

Since I had the goal of blogging 3 times a week at least, it's time for a check in. All is good. The weather has been awesome, although it's slowly getting colder. Tom thought that I needed to update my posting on Monday. We didn't ride 16 miles, we rode 32 which I thought was clear - he didn't. Yesterday we again took advantage of the weather and went for a 7 mile run. We had both worked out our legs the night before - me with squats and lunges and Tom with the machines. OUCH! That's all the needs to be said. It was a windy day and we both felt like our legs had been encased in cement prior to the run! HA! Tom told me that this is just what you feel like when you train for the Ironman. Wait a minute, I didn't sign up for that!!! I guess I need to get used to it. Maybe more massages are in store for my legs this year!

We're heading out tomorrow night for "date" night. Something new! I'm excited because we have been so good about eating out (alright, I had Subway and did do lunch out yesterday with a girlfriend) but it'll be great to just have some time together out. It's a lot different than time together at home, trust me!

That's all for now! Hope everyone is having a good week.

Taking a break

From the OSU football game because it's not going so well, aka the Bucks are losing bad! :) Tom's not happy so we decided to take a little break. All is well here. I weighed myself yesterday and was a bit disappointed to see a 0.2 pound loss. I thought that I had a good week last week, but I guess it wasn't good enough. Ho hum... maybe this week will be better.

On the bright side, we got outside for a ride today. Mrs. Felt Good missed me... I could tell right away! It was 65 degrees and ungodly windy, but we had a great ride to Prospect, had lunch at Subway and then fought the wind home for 16 miles. It was such a nice change of pace from the indoor trainer. I think tomorrow is supposed to be a little of the same and I'm thinking that we'll probably end up just running outside which is fine with me! Beats the treadmill any day!

Mom bought me a sewing machine for Christmas. I've been so excited to use it and finally got around to making my first project. I was very proud of myself, especially since I'm so dumb when it comes to anything crafty. I didn't even know that you needed two things of thread to sew. I have a lot to learn. In the meantime, enjoy my first project:

A good start

The last few days have been good for our new lifestyle changes. We ate out for lunch yesterday (our one time for the week) and we both made very smart choices - soup and salads at Applebee's. I even ordered French Onion Soup and didn't eat the cheese... that's unheard of! :) We filled the freezer with veggies, healthy meat options and now have our meals planned for the next two weeks. it's great! Not only are we going to eat 10 times better, but we're going to save SO much money this way. We also joined the Y yesterday for the next few months. I know that we are both anxious to get back to swimming. We also found an Abs class that we're going to take 3 days a week and we might even try a yoga class once a week. I love this new life!

I worked out in a skirt yesterday that I got for Christmas. LOVE IT! By far the best piece of workout clothing that I have!!! I'm definitely going to rock it in the Ironman. No questions asked!

I've set a small goal for myself. We are going to Las Vegas on January 30th and I would like to be down 5 pounds by then. I think it's attainable (especially since I gained about 5 pounds in the last two months). I'll just feel so good if I'm there by the time we leave.

A year for changes

I know I talk a lot about what changes I'm going to make and as the year winds down, Tom and I have really had a good chance to examine where we want to go next year, and I'm not talking vacation (although there are a few of those thrown in the mix just because!) We're really going to focus on making this a Captain year and that's very exciting. We've decided to make a lot of lifestyle changes in terms of eating (we're not dieting!), exercise, relationships with family and friends, personal changes and things together. 2008 will be an exciting year and I'm looking forward to it.

As for 2007, I guess I can't say that I'm glad to see it go. A lot happened:

• In March, Grandma passed away and there isn't a day that goes by that something doesn't remind us of her. She sure is missed, but I personally gained such a different outlook on life just from watching her and I can't thank her enough for that!
• Tom and I had some great vacation - we went to Vegas to see the our niece and nephew(and to gamble of course!), we went to Hocking Hills for some hiking, we went to Panama City Beach which quickly turned into our new favorite beach, and we went skiing in West Virginia.
• The Ironman... need I say more?
• Tom and I organized our first (and maybe last for a while) 4 mile race. We learned so much about ourselves and the world of race organizing. It was fun... at times! :)
• Friends had babies (that's a scary thing... I guess first it was friends getting married, now I'm one of the only ones without a child! EEK! Although I do love being a pseudo-aunt)
• Family had babies (two new cousins, although I forget if they are first or second based on their parents relationship to me)
• My sister and I renewed our relationship which was a big turning point for me. I need her so much and I know that she's needed me. I'm so lucky to have her as not only my sister, but more importantly my friend!
• My love for trialthon grew exponentially - it's something fun that Tom and I share together and not many people can say that their spouse makes the best training partner!
• We got a new car! :)

I'm sure there is so much more that I could post on, but those are some of the major things that come to mind. 2008 will definitely not be dull in comparison. Between my Ironman, our next trip to Vegas, my sailing trip to Tahiti, the business and everything else, it's bound to be a good year!

Happy New Year's!!